Page 49 of Broken

“Yeah.”

“You’ve dated men in a club. You know the way of that life. I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I had my mind on vengeance. So, what I needed I got at the club, if I needed it.”

I study his words, knowing it shouldn’t bother me, but I remember how my virginity was given to Dom and I thought what we shared was special. I thought by him claiming my innocence, it was a promise to our future—a decision we made together. In my head, it was a declaration that we were going to be together and married soon. I thought it was everything. Yet while I was planning our future, he was hanging with his brothers and getting blow jobs—and everything else, but for some reason the blow jobs hurt the worst and don’t ask me why—from Mony. Mony was a club Twinkie—a relatively new one at the time. She had tits, ass, and legs, and I’d heard enough talk to know she was up for anything. She also looked nothing like me. Truthfully, the woman looked more like Thea. That was another red flag that I ignored. I guess Dom had a type. No, that wasn’t it. I’d already seen the fire between Thea and Dom flare before that. I just ignored it.

I was just plain stupid.

“Gabby?”

“Sorry, unpleasant thoughts appear even when you don’t want them to.”

“Is that what the look on your face was about?”

“What look?” I ask, playing dumb, because I’m pretty sure I know what he’s talking about.

“Disappointment.”

I sigh. “My mind is all messed up, King. I think you know that. You can’t pay attention to me.”

“I would never cheat on you, Gabby,” he says, his voice deep, urgent and surprisingly frank.

“King—”

“I wouldn’t, and not just because I’ve had that shit done to me. I justwouldn’t.”

I decide to give him what I’ve now decided to think of as mine and King’s sign that we’re on the same page. I squeeze our still joined hands. Then while looking him straight in the eye, proclaim, “I know.”

“Thank fuck,” he mutters, taking a drink of his beer.

I try to ignore the way his lips move over the top of the bottle as he sucks it back. I’m not entirely successful. The past week of kissing him, and some other things, has left my mind a mess. The only thing I’m positive of is I could become addicted to having King in my life, and I figure that’s not a good thing. I push away those thoughts. Just another thing to go over with my therapist during our next session. Thankfully, we do most of our meetings through video conferencing. If not, I’d be practically living at her house with all the panic attacks and nightmares I’ve had lately. Also, my state funded insurance pays for pretty much everything because I’m low income and pregnant. I had insurance through my dad’s club, but I canceled it when I moved out. I killed my brother and his oldest son. I didn’t want Dad to have to pay to keep me up and be reminded every time I go to the doctor of what I’d done. I doubt my father even knows I canceled my policy. I’m pretty sure the less he thinks about me at this point, the better.

“Although I wouldn’t blame you if you did. I mean, I’m the one who told you to run, not walk away from me.”

He shocks me when he lets out a sound that reminds me of an angry bear. “Why in the fuck do you say that shit?”

“King—”

“Fair warning, Gabby—and baby—I need you to listen to me.”

“O … Okay,” I answer, swallowing nervously at the intensity on his face.

“Every single time you doubt me or say shit putting yourself down, I’m going to spank your ass.”

“What?” I gasp.

“I’m going to turn you over my knee and spank your ass,” he quietly growls out.

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Try me. You’re going to get out of that habit of thinking the worst about yourself until you see all the good I see in you.”

“Maybe you’re the one who is delusional. Did you ever think about that?” she huffs.

“That’s strike number two, Gabby. You going to push it and see what happens, or are you going to back down?”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re very bossy?”

“It’s been mentioned,” he jokes, smiling at me.

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