Page 74 of Broken

“Bullshit. Your woman is barely holding on. She’s lost so much weight she looks like skin and bones. Your club is dying. I haven’t seen Carlos, but I can’t imagine he’s very proud of his old man letting his mother down the way you are.”

“Fuck you.” I try to blot out his words, but they keep hitting me. I didn’t know Beth was losing weight. I haven’t really seen her in a week or so. It might be longer and the last time I saw her, I was so far from sober that I can’t even remember if I spoke to her.

“You’ve got to pull yourself together, asshole.”

“Why the hell do you even care?” I hiss, holding my head in my hands and staring down at the cement.

“Your girl needs you, Skull. She’s drowning in so much guilt it’s choking her.”

“Yeah, right,” I huff, not wanting to talk about Gabby.

“You need to pull your head out of your ass, Skull. Listen to me. You lost one son. Don’t lose all your kids and Beth. The road you’re going down will lead to that, and it’s the last fucking thing Diego would have wanted for any of you.”

“I’ve let them all down,” I whisper. “I’m the reason my son isn’t here. I ordered him to go. I gave the order that got my son killed because I wanted to send a message that no one touches my daughter. I did that shit. I killed my son.” The guilt and pain mingle so deep that my insides are raw. I close my eyesand Diego’s face is there. I raise my hands, punching my head, wanting the memory to leave, but at the same time praying it never does. “My boy,” I howl, and I know I’m crying. The tears burn just like the grief. I don’t have the right to cry. All of this is my fault. I killed my boy. “I killed him.”

I feel arms go around me and realize that Dragon is there. He pulls me up into a sitting position and then clamps his hand on my shoulder. “You didn’t fucking kill him. You know this life. Your son died, but he knew the risk, Skull. We all know the risk. He took the job because he loved who he was, who you taught him to be. He was there because he loved being a member of the Blaze. He loved his family and his sister. You didn’t kill your boy. Some fuck-head with a God complex did, and we dealt with him. We got revenge for your boy. Now, dig down deep and you tell me what Diego would want from his dad right now. How would he want you to go forward, Skull?”

“I miss him. I fucking miss my boy,” I pant, my lungs seizing so that it is fucking hard to breathe. “He was the best of me. Jesus, he was so full of life. So fucking full of it.”

“Which means he wouldn’t want his dad pulling this shit. He’d want him looking after his mom, his sister, and Carlos. He would want that, Skull. You know he would.”

“I can’t even fucking look at my kids or my wife. I let them down. I got my son killed. I look at their faces and I see the pain, the grief, and it destroys me all over again.”

“Skull, Beth needs you. She’s not taking care of herself. She’s a mess. I haven’t seen Carlos, but I have Gabby, and man, she’s drowning in guilt because you’re blaming her even more than she’s already blaming herself.”

“I can’t look at Gabby.”

“Fucking hell, Skull. I remember the last time we had this conversation, and it wasn’t true then and it isn’t now. None of this shit was Gabby’s fault.”

“I know that!” I huff. “I needed to blame anyone but me. I spouted bullshit that really didn’t mean anything because I love her. I’ll always love her, no matter what bullshit goes down. Instead of telling her that, I couldn’t handle what I was feeling. I needed someone—anyone—to blame. So, I threw it all on my daughter, and she heard me. I never meant for her to hear that shit. I saw the pain on her face that day, Dragon, just like you. What I said destroyed her. Then, to know she’d been raped. My precious daughter violated. She needed me and what did I do, Dragon? I broke her. She broke right in front of my eyes, and I just let her walk away. My family doesn’t need me. I’m the last thing any of them need.”

“That right there is bullshit. Your wife is slowly killing herself. Carlos is going through the motions and then there’s Gabby. She’s being so strong, Skull. The girl has more grit than I would have ever thought possible.”

“You almost sound like you like her, hermano, when we both know you never did.”

“I didn’t. You’re right. I’ve since changed my mind. Which is a good thing since she’s going to be family.”

“I’m glad—” I shake my head, thinking I really need to give up drinking. “What did you say?”

“My son has claimed Gabby as his old lady.”

I frown. “I think I am too drunk for this conversation. Dom is with Bull’s daughter. I will not allow my hija to tie herself to a man who loves another.”

“It’s not Dom,” Dragon says, his face blurry to me, but still displaying the cocky bastard he is.

“There’s no way in fucking hell I will let her wind up with T, either. He’s completely wrapped up in his woman. It would crush my daughter’s heart.”

“It’s not T.”

I frown. “Isn’t King married?”

“Divorced.”

“No fucking way. Your son is too old for my daughter.”

“Not your call to make. Besides, it’s too late.”

“The hell it is.”

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