Page 13 of Merry Little Mishap

I chewed on the end of the pen, thinking about what else she’d like, deciding to circle both the chow mein and sesame chicken.

“How’s the shrimp?” I asked Luis, ignoring Tiffany as she continued to argue with Hank.

“It’s my favorite,” Angela added, bringing me a few sticks of cinnamon for the coquito.

The delivery man nodded in agreeance.

I circled the shrimp twice.

“Nicky!” Tiffany finally got back on the line, her background less hectic.

“I’m still here,” I answered, writing out the imaginary details to my hypothetical dinner with Elena.I wonder if she’d like fried rice?

“Scrap the wine. Bring me whatever they gave The Civil War soldiers before amputating legs.” I could hear Tiffany fall into a bed, either her own or one of the kids.

“I’m not sure if they have any chloroform here…”

“A pillow over the face will suffice.” She let out a sigh.

“Sounds like you’ve stepped away from the party,” I muttered, watching as the man outside finally gave up, tossing his Christmas tree into his trunk, slamming half of it shut. Pine needles exploded everywhere.

“I’m in the boys’ room right now.”

“Napping?”

“I’m hiding chocolate bars in their pillowcases. I’m going to tell them it’s reindeer poop.” Tiffany cracked a smile.

I chuckled, knowing my nephews would love that. They had exceptional humor.

We were quiet for a moment, and I watched as Luis fed Angela a piece of crispy honey chicken.

They laughed.

They kissed.

They’d been married for longer than I’d existed, and they worked harmoniously in a liquor store together. But if boozy holiday drinks were the secret to long term love, then it sure as hell didn’t work for Tiffany and Hank.

“I have a headache,” Tiffany admitted with a groggy voice.

I hesitated.

“How about I bring you some water instead?” I asked, half joking, half serious. There was no doubt in my mind she already finished the bottle of moscato from earlier.

“Water is good,” she yawned.

“Do you still want me to order more pizza?”

“Mmmm…” she muttered undecidedly.

She went quiet.

“Tiffany?”

More silence.

“Tiff?” I asked.

What the hell happened to her? All I heard was ambient room noises, followed by the most obnoxious snore.

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