Page 27 of Bay of Plenty

Anger flashed across his face. “It was a bit more than that.” His zinc-white lips twisted, his voice a blade-fine edge.

“Yeah.” My chest tightened, forcing me to gasp uneven breaths.Oh God, I’m going to have to say it. “I basically accused you of murder. It was unforgivable.”

“I thought you had it in for me.” Snow pressed his knuckles against his forehead and grimaced.

“I’m so sorry. I was young and stupid, only fourteen. And Janey did ask me to take that note to you. Sarge and I acted out what I saw that night. It was clear she had met someone taller than herself, someone Sarge’s height, which was your height. But that’s no excuse. That didn’t mean you were the last person to see her alive. I’d do anything to go back and change what I said.” I was so convincing that my shoulders shuddered.

Rubbing at his eyes, he sighed. “You were a kid. You didn’t understand what you were saying.” He rolled his head back to the slight breeze. “Anyway, Sarge told me to take nonotice. He told everyone you made a terrible witness, and no one believed you.”

My chest was gripped in a vise.

“In a way, I should thank you,” he said. “It was a bad time at home. It made me take a hard look at myself. I knew I was a bully, but I was always able to justify it—tell myself the person deserved it, or my father did it to me, so why not pass it on? But when Sarge told me and then everyone what you’d said, I realized I’d taken it so far that someone thought I was a murderer.”

The spray from a wave stung my face. “Wait. Can we go back? Sarge toldeveryonewhat I said?”

“Oh, yeah.” He raised his eyebrows, like he was surprised I didn’t know. “Everyone.He said you were talking a load of rubbish.”

What? Shock slammed me in my solar plexus. Why did Sarge discredit me like that?

Declan torpedoed into a wave. When he surfaced, Snow held up a finger, gesturing for him to try one more time.

Had Sarge been trying to protect Snow? I had to have this out with Snow. If he didn’t think I was trying to resolve this, he wouldn’t trust me, and that would affect the case.

“I got badly bullied for that.” I held my ringing head in my hands.

This was the conversation I’d plotted for years. Lived inside my head. The waves and clouds stopped dead, waiting for his reply.

“You talking about what Cazza and Lolly did?” His top lip curled. Hearing their names made me feel small and empty, but I tried to block it out. When I nodded, he said, “Yeah, that was brutal. CeeCee mentions that sometimes. She wasscared of them.” He looked at me, puzzled. “But that had nothing to do with me.”

Nothing to do with me.He’d dismissed me as easily as kicking a flimsy sandcastle flat. I felt sick, and sicker that his reply meant everything to me. I’d fantasized for years about his confession, but it existed only in my imagination.

“But it did.” Shakily, I stepped back and lifted my chin. “Don’t you see? They called meSquealer, like I’d told on you. And they made those pig noises during the whole of your last year at school. I was sure you gave them instructions because they’d always run back to you.”

I wanted to pummel my fists on his chest. Instead, I stared at him.

He jerked back his head, his face pounding with pitiless rage. Here was the evidence. I wasn’t wrong about him. This was what he’d done in high school. It always started as innocent roughhousing, then turned violent for no reason. His eyes would switch to steel, his mouth a gash of contempt, and his horseplay would turn venomous. He’d be tickling or nudging someone, and then he’d lift them and dump them onto the rugby pitch.

He flung his head into the water and out again, his hair spraying backward. Breathing in and out, he counted, like this was something he’d been told to do.

He slanted me a wild look. “Fuck. Okay,” he said, breathing out. “I was a bit of an asshole, bit of a bully. In the surf too.” My board knocked against his leg, and he punched it away. Maybe catching himself, he turned to me, almost pleading. “But that’s why I love teaching now, putting things to right. I never did anything to you.” Ever mercurial, he considered this for a minute, crossed his arms and set his mouth. “Kind of insulted you’d think that, to be honest.”

The breeze blasted me frigid.

“Cazza and Lolly followed you around.” My voice quivered, stricken. “They bullied me because of you. You must have seen that, and you never stopped them.”

He wrapped his arms around himself, and his fingers plucked at his white rash shirt, seeming uncertain for the first time. “That was shitty of them, yeah. But think of it from my point of view.” He turned to me, his eyes ice blue. “Why would I stop them when you accused me of murder?”

All my emotions battled inside my head. I’d said something of what I wanted to. But he was forcing me to look at things from his perspective. I’d pushed to say my piece, but, in the end, I’d gained a little of his trust. Now I had to show I accepted what he said. I had to make myself apologize in the hopes of catching him out in a lie. It would feel like eating sand.

“I can understand what you’re saying now.” I nodded slowly, as if considering his words deeply. “I wish you’d intervened with those two girls, but I can understand why you didn’t. Mum told me you went through a rough time at home. I’m so sorry about that.” That last sentence was sincere, but next came the fake.

I leaned toward him, clutching at my chest. “I was wrong to think you were involved in Janey’s death. My emotions got me all confused. I hope you can forgive me, and we can find a way to be friends. I know this’ll take time, but I want to get there. Mum and Dad obviously love you. The whole town loves you.”

Narrowing his eyes, he considered my apology. His face started to soften.

A cry came from the waves. Declan hurtled into a spectacular smash.

“Oh God, are you okay?” I cried out as I splashed toward him. Declan surfaced and howled with frustration. I sighed with relief. “I thought you might be hurt.”

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