Page 126 of Sunrise

I don’t want it. I can’t let him touch me. I can’t breathe. Panic bolsters my strength and when I push him off me, he crashes into the dresser. The hurt in his gaze cuts me in half. He holds his side, breathing hard, and I don’t have to look to know there’s likely a fresh bruise from his father under his shirt. And I just made it worse by shoving him into a piece of furniture.

I’m a monster.

“Alex!” Dad calls out, swinging my bedroom door halfway open. He looks at me and then at Knox, and his expression shifts from happy to concern. “We leave in five minutes, son.”

“Okay.” Ignoring the ache in my chest, I snatch my tie and start knotting it again. “Just leave.”

“I thought I was going with you to graduation.”

“I said leave!”

“But—”

“Go, Knox! I don’t fucking want you with me!” I throw the box with the watch at his head. He doesn’t dodge it like I know he could have. He’s got the fastest reflexes I’ve ever seen, and yet… he never fucking blocks or ducks out of the way when I unleash my fury on him. Not ever.

He calmly picks up the watch. Pulls it from the case. Sets the shiny Rolex on the floor.

And stomps on it.

It’s like he just stomped on my shriveled robotic heart.

“You’ll come back,” he growls, like it’s a warning. “You belong with me.” He’s so mad, he’s shaking. So am I. “You’re going to come back, either by running or crawling… youwillfucking come back to me, Alex.”

“Come on, boys! Time to go!” Mom yells from the foyer.

I shove past him and head out without saying another word. When I get into the backseat of my dad’s car, I shut myself off and stare at the center console.

Mom turns towards me. “Isn’t Knox coming, honey?”

“Just drive. We’re going to be late.”

He’s right to not run away with me. I’m a piece of shit. And I’m never coming back to him because he deserves so much better.

Ryker always says, “Hurt people hurt people”, but that doesn’t make sense. Hurt people shouldn’t hurt people because they know how miserable and shitty it is to be fucking hurt.

I can’t cause Knox anymore pain.

I’m leaving so I can save him from me.

It’s the least I can do for the only person on this planet that I fucking love…

“Ready?” Sophie asks from behind me.

“Yeah.” I check my tie one more time before turning to face her. “You look ravishing, Mistress.”

Her smile is wicked… and fake. “Call me Sophie in private and Mistress out there?”

Nodding in agreement, it’s like having the real woman in secret and the fake out in public. It’s both a clear line, and also a blurred one. Then again, we’ve been blurring scenes and reality for days. The blend is nice, honestly. It’s helped me tie my two halves together.

“What were you thinking about just now?” she asks, hooking her arm in mine.

“My high school graduation.”

Funny how Knox was right all along. I should have stayed with him. I could have protected him from his father if I had. One bullet wasn’t enough. I’d take an entire chamber full for that man. And if I’d stayed with him all those years ago, we wouldn’t be making up for lost time now. The gap in our hearts is slowly closing, and our friendship has always remained intact, but the past couple of weeks with the three of us together have made me delusional enough to believe our future is bright together.

My heart squeezes with bitterness. “I should have never gone to college. I should have stayed.”

“You came back,” she says, like that’s just as good, if not better.

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