Page 138 of Sunrise

I still don’t know what to do about that part of my life. “I haven’t had time to think about it.” The boys start up a new game and Dmitri gets the first layup. “I’m confused about what I want.”

I can’t bring myself to think about how all my hard work has been credited to someone else. My heart can’t take it yet, so I’ve been floating down the river of denial. And at the Monarch, Ryker and I have already discussed my desire to pull back as the club’s most booked out Mistress. He was completely on board with it, considering he’s been trying to get me to slow down for years.

“Ry said you got a raise,” Tara reminds me. “You could just be full time at the club.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want that.” It might turn into work, instead of being a fun outlet for me. I’m not willing to risk it. “I’ll look for another job soon. I miss wearing my lab coat.”

But how is that going to work? Any interviewer will question why I left my old job and I’m not going to lie. I also know that my pay grade is much lower than Bill’s and his reach is further than mine. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if he’s put out bullshit stories about my reputation already to stop me from being hired anywhere else in the tristate area.

I can only imagine the field day he’d have if he knew I was also a dominatrix.

Sighing, I watch Knox dunk on Dmitri. Vault catches the ball and dribbles down the court. Knox catches up quickly. Vault feints left, goes right, and manages a layup. They trash talk some more.

“Can you imagine them as teenagers?” Daelyn asks with the sweetest smile on her face. The way shealways looks at Dmitri, you’d think he hung the moon for her.

Maybe he did. All four of them have such big hearts and massive amounts of history and pain. They thrive on taking care of each other… and their women.

“I wish I’d had them in my court growing up,” she says quietly. “My life would have been so different if they were in it from the beginning.”

“But then you wouldn’t beyou,” I remind her. “Everything happens for a reason. Dmitri’s crazy about you just the way you are.”

Daelyn’s got a lot of baggage she’s been working through. I don’t know all the details, but when she and Dmitri first got together, the guys definitely rallied together about it.

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t have been so weak back in the day if I had them,” she argues.

“Our traumas don’t make us stronger. They make us human.”

Tara and Daelyn both turn to me.

“I can’t take credit for that one. Knox told Vault that the other day, while we were in the shower together.”

“He’s probably the smartest person I’ve ever met,” Tara says thoughtfully. Her eyes widen as if realizing she just said that out loud. “Pleasedon’t tell him I said that. It’ll inflate his ego and Midnight Run only has a six-foot wide double door for him to fit through as it is.”

I cackle laugh and roll onto my back in the grass. “Oh my god, Tara. How is that so fucking true?” Knox has a lot of insecurity, but also a lot of goddamn confidence. He’s such a walking contradiction. “He does origami, too. He sometimes leaves littlebutterflies in my mailbox.”

“Aww!” Daelyn holds her chest. “That’s really fucking sweet.”

I agree. And he’s so stealthy about it, I never see him do it on my ring camera.

“A plague on both your houses!” he suddenly yells dramatically. I look over just in time to see Knox flipping Vault and Dmitri off with both hands.

“For fuck’s sake, there’s no Shakespeare in basketball.” Dmitri tosses the ball at him.

“Winner buys dinner?” Knox passes it to Ryker, who takes off down the court.

Vault steals it and dribbles back, dunking on Knox.

“God Damnit!” He shakes his fists in the air. “Et tu, Brute?”

“Make him stop,” Dmitri huffs at Ryker.

Ry throws his hands up. “Since when have any of us been able to tame the shrew?”

Knox claps. “That was a nice one, bro. Out of pocket, but A for effort.”

They play for another hour while me and the girls take a nap in the sun.

???

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