Page 40 of Sunrise

“Come here.” I gather Sophie in my arms and carry her to bed. “I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“I’m sorry I pushed you too far. I thought I read the situation so well, and I failed you both.”

“You didn’t fail shit.” Knox climbs into bed with us. We sandwich her and face each other.

If we’re going to move forward as a unit, I’ll have to explain what set me off. Once I share why Knox not kissing me back fucked me up, she exhales and covers her face with her hands again. Funny how back in the day,Iwas the one who didn’t kiss back, and today, being on the other side of that situation is what triggered me. Trauma is weird sometimes.

Knox swallows hard and won’t look at me as he traces lazy circles around her arm with his middle finger. “I think we all did really well for the first round.”

“Yeah.” I laugh. “Just one meltdown and a half dozen orgasms. Not a bad ratio, really.”

“Do you want a round two?” Sophie asks cautiously. “Not tonight, but… soon? I don’t want to put any pressure on either of you, it’s just—”

“Yes,” we say together.

“Wow.” She shakes her head and huffs a laugh. “This is… different.”

“This isus.” Knox rolls in to kiss her neck. “Do you still want us?”

Sophie’s eyes lift to meet mine, her brow furrowing while Knox continues to nuzzle her neck. She presses her hand against the back of my head and brings me in for a kiss. I’m light as a feather when I say, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Most definitely,” she purrs against my mouth.

Knox pulls his towel off and tosses it onto the floor.

Chapter 13

Sophie

I’m jealous. There. I’ve confessed.

I’m jealous that these four men have been a unit for most of their lives while I’ve only gotten to know them over the past handful of years. I’m jealous that I can’t be filthy rich like Vault and quit my day job to be at the Monarch all day and night. I’m jealous that he kissed Knox first all those years ago. I’m jealous that they know each other better than anyone will ever know me.

I’m an outsider.

An intruder.

An actor.

So why does it feel like I fit in with them? It’s not just the way Dmitri and Ryker keep me close to their side, but Knox and Vault are next level with me. I’ve been in plenty of threesomes and always know my place at the Monarch. I’m a conduit. I move between a couple, helping them explore and learn and face their kinks head-on in a safe way. I offer comfort, encouragement, and enlightenment.

In the beginning, when Vault and I started with each other, I suspected that was all I’d be for him. And with Knox, I know I was. At least in the beginning. But now I’ve caught feelings.

I want to belong.

But I never will because they can’t know my whole story and holding secrets is against the rules. It’s dishonest and I’m betraying them every fucking day because I can’t tell anyone about mybefore. Ever.

Not even Ryker has a clue. I came to him an eager, still in college for my PhD, young woman who begged for a job here. I pretended to not know a thing about BDSM and acted like a fast learner so I could one day be his best Domme.

It was by design. Everything I do… is by design.

The guilt eats me a little more every day.

Jolting me out of my thoughts, Knox pulls on his boxers and scoops his pants off the floor. “Where are you going, pup?”

“To make us snacks.”

Vault lies on his back in the bed, one arm propped under his head, the other resting on his chest. “Let him,” he says.

---