I almost want to believe it’s fake.
But there’s nothing fake about Sophie. The woman’s smart as a whip, patient as a clam, and sexy as hell. What a trifecta. I was drawn to her almost immediately and took my time to work up the courage to ask her to help me.
We’ve never discussed what would happen after.AfterKnox and I worked through our shit.AfterI could handle being fucked by a man again.AfterI’m healed and ready to move towards my future instead of clawing through my past.
My arrangement with Soph started platonic. Wewere two machines working towards a result. When did I fall in love with her? Was it when she laughed in a bubble bath and blew suds in my face? Was it when she held me after a long session, cradling me until I fell asleep? Was it when she brought me breakfast one morning instead of going to her day job? Was it that time we broke a Saint Andrews Cross? Our first Shibari session? Our first meal together?
Maybe it was none of those times.
Maybe it was when I watched her from the camera when she and Ryker argued over what toys to buy for inventory. Or when I caught her juggling three bottles of lube while restocking one of the rooms. Perhaps it was when she pranked Dmitri by tossing a pie in his face. Or… God, there’s too many good times, too many reasons, too many opportunities to fall for that woman.
All I know is she makes me feel good and safe and happy. And when she stares into the camera, it’s like she’s looking straight into my soul.
I’m in love with her.
It’s different from what I feel for Knox, but also very much the same. Love should not be this fucking complicated. If I step back, it all makes sense. If I dissect it, it’s a mess.
But Knox’s concern is valid. She might not love us back. This arrangement between the three of us could be just that. An arrangement and nothing more. It fits her M.O.
Guess we’ll have to make her fall in love with us somehow.
I just need to make sure Knox doesn’t get jealous, because he was never that great at sharing. It makes what we did tonight that much more mindblowing.
Maybe he’s changed. I certainly have.
The morning sunlight streams into the Butterfly suite when we sneak in. Knox kicks his boots off at the door while I quietly creep over to the other side of the room to draw the curtains.
Sophie shoots up, gasping. Then she screams in terror.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! It’s us.” I yank the curtains wide open, letting all the sunlight pour in. “It’s just us, Soph.”
She’s wild eyed and panting, clutching the sheet to her chest. “Oh my god, all I saw was someone creeping into the fucking room.”
“Sorry.” I sit on the edge of the bed. “We were trying to not wake you.”
She’s trembling. I climb into bed and hold her against me. I’ve never seen her so jumpy. What the fuck?
“I’m sorry, I just...” She does her breathing exercises and seems to reboot. “Guess I woke up too fast and was disoriented.”
Knox and I look at each other, his brows furrows like mine.
“Sorry, guys.” Bristling, she scoots away from me. “I’m good now.”
“You sure?”
“Mm hmm.” She gets out of bed and puts on her robe.
“Where are you going?” Knox asks, concern lacing his soft tone.
“Nowhere.” She leaves us in the room and shuts the door. I pull out my cell and open the app that shows me all the security cameras in the building.
“She’s been off lately.” Knox sits next to me and watches her on my screen. “Something’s up.”
Strange, I haven’t noticed her acting off at all. The idea that she’s struggling with something I haven’t noticed makes me feel horrible. If Knox’s instincts are right, I’m going to listen to them. “We need to find out what’s going on.”
Chapter 15
Sophie