Page 67 of Sunrise

So now I’m here at Ryker’s, lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling. He’s out meeting some rich cougar tonight who’s probably going to pay him a grand to eat her pussy and call her princess. I’m on babysitting duty with Miss Ashley. I think she’s getting worse. Her cancer is spreading, and I’m scared to calculate statistically how long she might have left in this world. Ry doesn’t like to leave her alone, so someone’s usually with her at night until he gets back. Sometimes it’s Knox. A lot of times it’s D. Tonight, I’m the lucky one.

At about three thirty in the morning, the apartmentdoor unlocks, and Ryker quietly creeps in. We silently head into his room, and I close the door.

“How was she tonight?” he asks, pulling off his suit jacket. His hair falls in his eyes as he looks down and his cheeks are more hollow. I think he’s going to crash out if he keeps escorting so much.

“Real good,” I lie. “She ate some of the leftover spaghetti and we played Uno. The woman shows no mercy.”

Ryker chuckles, but there’s no humor in his eyes. I think he’s dead inside like me. I want to ask him how he does it. How the fuck does he work as an escort and do things he doesn’t want to do?

I can’t even do things I’m desperate to do.

He sits on the floor, one leg propped up, the other stretched out and sighs. “Fuck, I’m exhausted.” Tipping his head back, he closes his eyes, and I can’t bring myself to ask a fucking thing. He’s going through so much. Plus, I don’t want him to know what happened to me. What if he looks at me differently?

“You and Knox are over, aren’t you?”

His question hangs in the air while we sit in the dark.

“I think so.” I don’t know how we couldn’t be. Everything we had is tainted.

“Does that mean you’re not even friends now?” When I don’t answer, he turns to me. “He’s a mess, Alex.”

So am I,I want to say, but keep my mouth shut.

“If you’re going to break his heart, give him the reason why.”

There’s no point. Knox already knows.

“I don’t ever want to hurt him,” I say, like that’ll help my case.

Ryker frowns and looks away from me. “Then you better answer his call. He’s never ignored one of yours.”

“He doesn’t call for important stuff. He’s just boredand trying to start shit.”

Ry doesn’t bite. “Even if it isn’t important to you, that doesn’t mean it isn’t important to him.”

“What is?”

“Whatever the fuck he’s calling you about, idiot.”

I’m too tired to keep this conversation going. “I’m heading out.”

“Stay the night.” He gestures towards his window. “Not even Dmitri walks these streets alone at three in the morning.”

Fear strikes me and it’s the first time I consider the fact that I’m not safe. I’ve never not felt safe in any of our neighborhoods. Knox and I go on midnight runs all the time and I’ve never worried.

But Knox isn’t with me anymore.

“Alright, I’ll stay.” Heading back to the couch, I sleep there so Ryker can have some peace and quiet in his room.

I think he’s screaming in his head as loud as I am in mine…

Knox sets out two plates loaded with chicken salad sandwiches on brioche buns and BBQ chips. I swear, everything this motherfucker cooks tastes gourmet. “Did you make the chips, too?” I’m only half teasing.

“If I’d had more advanced notice, I would have.” Knox bites into his sandwich and chews. His jaw muscles flex and I have to look away. This man is pure sunshine, and it’s been forever since I’ve felt that kind of warmth.

“Maybe next time I’ll call and place an order.”

Knox laughs, popping a chip in his mouth. “Go ahead. You won’t be disappointed when you taste what I create for you.”

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