Page 84 of Sunrise

“I know it’s probably in my head. Not even my doorbell camera picks up anything out of the ordinary. I keep my curtains and blinds closed just in case, though. It’s something I’ve done for years...” I must sound like a lunatic. “Except the more I close myself in lately, the more paranoid I’m becoming. It’s like I’m being haunted by a ghost.” The more I talk, the more I can’t fucking stop. It feels good to get this part out. “It’s crazy, I know, but I’m telling you something isn’t right.”

I’m worried I’m finally at my breaking point and need help.

Since I can’t shut up, I also add, “Sometimes I find things by the front door.”

Vault’s brow furrows. “Like what?”

“That’s the thing,” I look up at him. “It’ll be something trivial, like a gum wrapper. And my common sense will say it’s probably from a delivery guy or something, but…” I don’t know how to explain without outing myself, so I shut my mouth.

“You’re safe here, Sophie.” Knox leans across the breakfast bar. “And if you want, we can totally bump up your security.”

Vault nods, almost looking eager to get that going.

“How much more security can I need in order to finally feel safe?” I realize what I’ve asked a second too late.

“What happened to you?”

I stare at Knox, my brain scrambling to come up with a vague answer that will appease him. There’s no such thing.

“If you don’t want to say, we get it,” Vault defends me. “Our dynamic is about trust, but we’re not owed your secrets.”

He gets my moral problem.

Knox, however, doesn’t look happy about Vault giving me an out. “If she’s in danger, we need to fucking know so we can take care of it.”

The man sounds ready to kill.

If only that was an option. If the person haunting me would die, I’d be free from my torment. But there is no way on this green earth I’d ever let Knox or anyone else commit murder for me. It was all I could do to stop Dmitri from pulling answers out of me when I came to him for defense lessons shortly after joining the Monarch Club.

The coffee mug clatters against my teeth when I take a sip. My brain glitches and I can’t swallow theliquid in my mouth. I’m malfunctioning. This isn’t okay. I need help.

Swallow, swallow, swallow!

Finally, I gulp it down.

Silence fills the space. I don’t like it. I don’t want it. I need ordinary life and business. Noise and communication. I have to push through.

“Yesterday was my final straw with a lot of things.” Blowing out a long breath, I mentally retreat. “I’m very sorry for anything I said or did last night that might have made you uncomfortable. It was the merlot.”

“It wasn’t the merlot,” Knox argues. “It was reality. You’ve hit a wall, Soph. And trying to climb over it by yourself isn’t the way.”

Yes, it is.I slam the doors to my feelings shut.

“I’m fine.” Cutting into the perfectly cooked eggs benedict, I shove a forkful in my mouth. Suddenly my cell rings, and I see it’s charging on the counter. Wow, they take care of everything, don’t they? “Can you hand me that, please?”

Frowning, Knox gives me my phone.

It’s not a number I recognize, but the first three digits are the same as my lab’s main number. They’re probably calling to tell me that I have a lawsuit against me for harassment in the workplace. I’m sure James reported my little outburst to HR. It would certainly seal my fate of never returning.Cocksucker.

“I’m not in the headspace for this bullshit today,” I announce, letting it go to voicemail.

“Then let us help you.”

My gaze drags itself to Vault. “What?”

“Let us help you get into a better headspace to deal with the shit going on in your life.”

What is he offering? “How?”

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