Page 88 of Sunrise

“Drive the scenes.”

Knox sits up. “Vault, that’s on her. That’s literally what she needs to do.”

“She’ll be able to control you and I and run the scenes, but you’re going to have to read us both and call Red when it’s necessary.”

The way he’s scrunching his face says he doesn’t get it.

“She and I are both trying to push ourselves to the limit.” I hate that I’m even considering this possibility, but it needs to be said. “I have no idea what she’ll want from us, but I know what I want and I’m not a hundred percent sure I can handle it yet. Do you understand me?”

His Adam’s apple bobs. He doesn’t speak.

“You know me better than anyone. And your instincts have never once been wrong.” I grab his hand and squeeze it. “You have to be the one.”

“She’s not going to hurt us,” Knox says with all the confidence I’d expect from him.

Which makes me feel worse.

“It’s not her I’m worried about.”

Chapter 28

Sophie

The instant I step into the Monarch Club, the switch in my brain flips from Dr. Sophie Ross to Mistress. The relief is short-lived once I see who’s waiting for me.

Ryker’s at the entrance, looking none too happy as he glowers at me. “We need to talk.”

Rolling my shoulders back, I head into his office and it’s like having a warped version of déjà vu. If he’s dragging me into a secluded room to fire me, I’m going to lose my goddamn mind. I can’t lose both my happy places in the same week. It’ll kill me.

The door shuts with an affirmativeclick. Too nervous, I don’t bother sitting.

“You’re playing with fire, Sophie.”

“I know perfectly well what I’m doing, Mr. Hudson.” Professionalism keeps me in the zone. “They’re my subs and Ialwaystreat them with care.”

Vault warned me on the way here that he let Dmitri and Ryker know we were coming. I never expected Ryker to react this way, though. He’s being protective of them, which I understand, but I thought he’d also be protective ofme. The fact that I’ve never asked for a favor like this should show him I’m desperate and going through something I’mstruggling to handle on my own.

“I’m drowning.” My confession holds no emotion. I think I cried all that out of me last night. “This place offers me some semblance of control.”

“And you choosethemto use?”

I meet his furious gaze. “I willalwayschoose them.”

Can he hear what I’m not saying? Does he understand me at all?

For the first time in a long while, imposter syndrome sinks in. Maybe I don’t belong here like I thought. I may be a good Domme, but that doesn’t mean I’m perfect in every dynamic. Ryker’s right to be worried. I’m not just playing a role. I’m pushing boundaries and ultimately have the power to destroy what little progress Vault and Knox have made together.

However, it’s because ofmethat they’ve gotten this far. I play a big role in their healing, damnit, and I think they play an equally big role in mine.

“I need this,” I whisper. “Please, Ryker.”

He crosses his arms. “You need control, or you need them?”

“Both.” My voice is a mere, defeated whisper. “And I don’t use them, Ry. If anything, they’ve used me, and I’m fine with that.”

Now he looks like he’s been punched in the gut. Ry comes closer, concern pinching his brows. “What’s happened, Sophie?”

More walls go up in my mind while I put on a stone expression. Is telling the truth the price I have to pay to get what I want? Fine. I can tell him a little bit. “I was fired yesterday after my partner went behind my back and stole my work out from under me… with myboss’s approval and help.”

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