Page 110 of I Could Be Yours

“So true, but I’m extra weird, and I own that. Remember when you told me it’s better to live life scared than not live it at all?” Cammie says. “Maybe that’s where Nate is. Maybe he’s scared and hiding and he just needs time to figure it all out.”

“What if he doesn’t figure it out, though?” It’s all been rolling around in my head for the past twenty-four hours. If I’d just accepted his words, where would I be now? Would I be smiling and happy? Would I be bleary-eyed because we’d stayed up half the night making love, instead of red-eyed because I’ve been crying? Would our last day in Aruba have been a fairy tale instead of sad?

How long would it have taken once we got home for the bottom to fall out? How quickly would he have realized he doesn’t love me? That he never did. That it was wedding magic clouding his vision. Would it have been worth it?

Mom smiles softly. “If he doesn’t figure it out, then he isn’t the right guy for you.”

“I have all these feelings for him, and I can’t even tell him now,” I whisper.

“Just give it time, honey. You might still get the chance,” Mom says.

“What if I never find someone who sees all of me and deems me worthy of their love?” Despite what I said, I thought Nate liked the real me, the whole me.

Mom squeezes my hand. “You already have that, honey. Not just in me and your dad and Cammie, but also in your friends.”

She’s right, and after a moment I nod. “I want it with a partner,though. I want to find my one true love.” I lean my head against her shoulder. “Why can’t I have the fairy tale?”

“Remember that in every fairy tale, the prince and princess have to fight for their love, and there are always things that get in the way. Sometimes it’s other people, and other times it’s something inside themselves.” She taps over her heart. “The deepest, truest love comes to us when we’ve learned how to fight for it. When we know each other’s imperfections and our own, and can love ourselves and our partner wholly. Leave that space for Nate in your heart open, honey, and if he’s deserving of it, he’ll do the same for you.”

CHAPTER 36

NATE

“Okay. This has got to end.” Flip makes a circle motion around his face and plants his fists on his hips. “You’re making me depressed. I know exactly what you need.”

“I have exactly what I need.” I hold up the box of After Eights, which are Essie’s favorite. It’s basically all I’ve eaten for the past ten days.

“If you eat any more of those, you’re going to turn into one. Go shower and put on some clean clothes.” He points to the bathroom.

“I don’t want to go anywhere.”

“I know, which is exactly why you need to go somewhere. There is a you-shaped groove in the fucking couch, dude. Your brother can’t come back from his honeymoon and find you still in an espresso-depresso state. Either you get off your ass and into the shower, honey bear, or I will make you. I’m stronger than you, I’m tougher than you, and I have no problem getting naked with you.”

He’s right about all of it, and he’s also fucking relentless when he puts his mind to something, so I toss the box of After Eights on the table and drag my ass off the couch.

“And do not put that shirt back on. It’s really starting to stink!” he yells after me.

I fire the bird over my shoulder. I’ve changed into this shirt every day when I get home from work since we got home from Aruba. Essie slept in it one night, and it smelled like her, and I refuse to wash it, even though it smells more like my BO than her at this point.

Twenty minutes later, I’m wearing dress pants and a polo. Flip is dressed similarly.

“Where are you taking me, anyway?”

“To see some of my favorite ladies.”

“I’m not in the mood for a strip club, Flip.”

“I’m not in the mood for your bad attitude, honey bear. We are going out, and we’re going to have fun, and that’s the end of the fucking story.”

Ten minutes later we’re driving down a residential street, and there isn’t one strip club in sight. Flip turns right into Sunny Acres Retirement Village.

“Are we going to see your grandma or something?”

“We’re going to see someone’s grandma, but not mine.”

I perk up for half a second. “Essie’s?”

He gives me a look. “You are such a fucking idiot. You know that, right?”

---