Page 92 of I Could Be Yours

I still can’t believe my mother showed up last night. Seeing her unleashed a flood of terrible memories, and the price she put on us is another thing I’ll have to deal with eventually. I don’t want Brody to ever find out. He should never have to know our mother attached a dollar value to our place in her life.

And that brings me to this thing with Essie. The feelings I have for her are real—and bigger than I can handle right now. I feel raw with the gravity of it all. But I’m certain I want more than just this week, more than great sex and cuddling in bed. I wanther. I want to date her. I want to be the person she cancount on, just like she’s been the person I could count on this entire time.

But that needs to wait until we’re back in Toronto. Once we’re off this island and our feet are on the ground of reality, I can ask her on a date. We can figure it out. Today my focus needs to be on my brother and his wedding.

The barista has just finished my order when I spot my dad crossing the lobby, heading my way with a questioning smile.

“You’re up early.” He pulls me in for a hug, then looks me over.

I’m still wearing the same clothes from last night.

“Everything okay?”

It’s better for both of us if I don’t hide the truth, at least not from him. Besides, he’ll pick up on my edginess and just have more questions. “Mom showed up last night.”

“What?” Dad’s eyes flare. “When? Did your brothers see her?”

I shake my head. “We cut her off in the lobby. It was just me, Essie, and Connor Grace.”

“Are you okay?” He rubs the back of his neck, expression pained. “Of course you’re not. Do you want to tell me what happened? Is there anything I can do?” He motions to a table, then looks around. “Where is she now?”

I take the seat across from him. “She’s gone.” I explain what happened, how Connor intervened and paid her off.

His shock turns to concern. “She took three million dollars? Does Connor have that kind of money to throw around?”

“Pretty sure his family owns our hotel, so yeah, he’s good for it.”

“I cannot fucking believe I married that woman.” Dad scrubs a hand over his face, his dismay matching mine. “I’m so sorry, son. I wish it had been me and not you.”

I rub my chest to ease the ache, but it doesn’t work. No wonder he never dated after she left. He probably worried he’d pick another woman just like her. Just like I worry I’ll end upwith another Lisa. That I’m too messed up to deserve better. “At least she’s gone for good this time.” No more anxiety-invoking phone calls. No more worrying about her wreaking havoc on our lives.

Dad sighs. “I wish I could have protected you from this.”

I swirl my coffee, watching the pattern dissolve. “You did for as long as you could. And I’m glad it was me and not Tristan or Brody.”

“The things she’s done are unforgivable, but this is beyond reprehensible.”

“I used to wonder what we could have done differently,” I tell him. “But then she took the money…” I shake my head. “The only person she was thinking about was herself. If she gave an actual shit about any of us, she wouldn’t have shown up here like she had some kind of right.”

Dad taps his coffee cup. “She was always very focused on herself. I wish I’d done things differently when you boys were younger. But I felt this responsibility to keep trying, thinking I could fix things, even though it wasn’t good for any of us.”

“We had you, and we had each other, and that was more than enough, Dad.” It was hard after she left, and we all hurt, but it was better, too. The fighting stopped. No one yelled anymore. “And now we’ll have Rix, and you have Sophia. She seems nice.” She really does. She’s gentle and patient like Rix. Like Essie, too.

“She is. She’s kind, thoughtful. So is Rix,” Dad agrees.

“So you learned, right? And so did Tristan. So there’s hope for me and Brody yet.” I’m reassuring myself as much as I am him.

He nods. “You protect the people you care about. The right person will come along and see all the good in you.”

“Yeah.”

Maybe I’ve already found her.Maybe she’s been in my life all along, and I just couldn’t see it because I was too afraid? What Essie said about the dark consuming the light continues to hauntme. I don’t want to take without giving. I might share genetics with my mom, but I don’t have to be like her. I can choose another path.

I’m drawn to Essie because of who she is at her core. She puts others’ needs ahead of her own. Maybe to a fault. How many times did she step up for me during the planning stages of this wedding? How often has she quietly done the things I should have, but never made a big deal about it, and always played it off like we were in it together? Twice yesterday she was there when I needed her. Twice she put my needs in front of her own. But the second time, I didn’t hide from my feelings. I tried to give as much as I took.

My phone buzzes. “Tristan is up and looking for us.”

Dad nods. “Let’s get him ready to walk down the aisle.”

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