Page 26 of I Always Will

She groaned, dropping her head into her chest. “Not great, honestly.”

“I’m sure. You two have so much history, you never really got over her, you’re both fools who thought cutting the other off was what you needed, but instead, you’ve spent the last seventeen years pining for one another. And you’re back together now, neither of you in a relationship, planning a wedding together…”

That was a lot of very specific information. Sure, some of it had come from her and Alexandria when they were younger, but the rest… “Farid, I swear. How the fuck—” She broke off, feeling the colour drain from her face and a chill run through her whole body. “She told you. You’re still in touch.”

“Well, yes,” Farid replied, sounding somewhere between glad she’d finally figured it out and wondering how it had taken her so long. “We were good friends back then. And you and I stayed in touch, so it’s not that weird, is it?”

“You and I both still live in the same town. We run into each other sometimes. We went to the same uni. But you’re still friends with her?”

“Of course I am. We were friends, we did similar degrees, and we stayed in touch. And now she works for the Office for National Statistics, of course we’re still in touch. Even if we weren’t friends, we’d come into contact through work.”

“You’re still friends,” Hailey repeated, stunned. Not because it was odd, more because it made perfect sense and yet she’d never heard anything about it.

Farid let out a heavy sigh. “You two are ridiculous, cutting each other off the way you did. And you don’t seem at all surprised about where she works, so I’m guessing you already knew. I’m also guessing you knew before she wandered back into your life. So, in case you’re wondering, yes, she’s now aware that you run a mashed potato bar, are happy doing it, and she seems to think it suits you, though I doubt she’d ever admit that out loud. Because you’re both beyond frustrating. And yes, we’re still friends.”

“Why did you never mention it?”

“I never mentioned either of you to the other. You said you wanted a clean break, that you were heading off on different paths and that was the only way. I was a slightly nervous kid who didn’t know any better, so I just went along with it, no matter what I thought. After a while, it was clear you were both really trying to get over one another and it wasn’t going very well. It was best to just follow your leads, so I never mentioned it. I didn’t think you’d want to know.”

She shouldn’t have wanted to know. If she’d known, getting over Alexandria would have been a million times harder than it already was. Especially if she knew Alexandria was struggling too. But then, who was she kidding? She hadn’t gotten over Alexandria yet. She doubted she ever would. If she’d known Farid was in contact with them both, would she have done things differently? Would she have asked him to give Alexandria a message? Would she have heard when Alexandria finally got over her? Would she have let it go that far?

She wasn’t sure.

“You okay over there?” Farid asked when she didn’t speak for several minutes.

“Yes. No.” She groaned. “I don’t know. What do I do?”

“Do you want my actual answer or the answer I think you want me to give?”

She huffed. “Your actual answer.”

“Talk to her. She’s not going away. Both in terms of this wedding, but also in terms of how you feel about her. The least you can do, for yourself, is talk to her. Get to know her again. See if there’s something there.”

“But she’s not interested. We went our separate ways.”

“I don’t know if that’s you fishing for information or whether you believe that. All I’ll say is that I’m not telling either of you what’s going on with the other, but I will tell you that you need to talk to her.”

Hailey pouted. “Can we go back and get the answer I want to hear?”

“No,” he laughed. “Because even if we did that, you’d still know, deep in your heart, that this is what you want and need. You’ve been running away from her for twenty years, maybe it’s time to stop running?”

Ten

Present day

“Thank you so much for coming,” Daniel said, looking desperate as Alexandria climbed into the passenger seat of his car. It had been a long time since she’d seen him like that and it was unsettling. Sure, he was the member of the Daley family most inclined to wear his emotions on his sleeve, but he was generally a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. It was odd to see him so distressed, but it was exactly that desperation that had gotten her on the train heading back to Newell.

He had called early this morning, waking Alexandria up from her well-earned Sunday morning lie-in, half-frantic, and begging her to jump on the first train she could to be there. Initially, she’d thought someone had died, but it quickly became apparent they hadn’t died—they just might be about to.

“Please, Al—Alexandria—I need you here. Mum’s been making such snide comments about the wedding and I know she’s only agreed to go dress shopping with Esme because she wants to talk her out of it.” He had sighed heavily. “She wasn’t even invited. I don’t know how she found out that Esme was going today, but she’s insisting and I need you there, please.”

Between the use of her actual name and her confusion about the fact that her mother was up before six am on a Sunday morning, demanding to go dress shopping for a wedding she didn’t even want to happen, Alexandria had been swayed. She knew Daniel was right. Their mother wasn’t going along for anything close to a positive reason.

It was only once she was on the train—making another trip back far too soon for her liking—that she realised she hadn’t factored in whether she would run into Hailey.

In the two weeks since she’d been back home and she’d had Daniel on the phone telling her to play nice with Hailey, she’d done her best. She’d sent Hailey the world’s most awkward message asking that they pretend they didn’t have a history. She’d been grateful when Hailey agreed. And she’d painfully gone into the group chat every day like her almost-ex wasn’t on her mind every second of the day.

Daniel wanted to see her talking in the group chat. He wanted to see her playing nice for his wedding. And so, she’d taken theincredibly adultway out of the situation and pretended it wasn’t happening with Hailey.

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