Page 34 of I Always Will

She moved her hands up to Hailey’s face, holding her like the most precious object in the world, and tilted her head to deepen the kiss. Still soft and cautious and nervous and questioning. And perfect.

So completely perfect.

Thirteen

Present day

This was weird. All of it. Everything. Alexandria’s entire existence.Weird.

Of course, it was mostly her own fault. Daniel’s too, for somehow deciding to marry Hailey’s employee and bringing the two of them back together, but mostly Alexandria’s. She was, after all, the one who had decided to reach out and grab Hailey’s arm. She was the one who had held her there. She was the one who had initiated a conversation that was a little too familiar, a little toothem.

And, all of it. Weird.

How could you be away from someone for almost twenty years and just slip back into old patterns? That would be odd even if things hadn’t ended… the way they did. But, when she’d seen Hailey handling Susan with the same finesse and skill as she always had, it was difficult not to feel sixteen again. It was difficult not to let the years fall away and feel how she had back then. Back when she’d been able to ask Hailey anything. Back when they’d been inseparable and in love—even if they never said those words—and she’d reach out without thinking to ask over and over how something was so easy for Hailey. She really moved through the world in a way that was so different, so mesmerising.

For that split second where Alexandria’s hand had shot out to grab Hailey, without conscious thought or command, Alexandria had been back there. And the moments following it felt like being back there too in a lot of ways. The point of connection between them seemed to pulse, become electric and live, too obvious to ignore. Alexandria’s stomach rolled and jumped, her heart raced, and her palms became slick. All of it was so similar to how Hailey had made her feel back when they were kids.

But it was weightier now.

Now, the touch was inextricably tied to all the times they’d been closer than that, all the times they’d kissed and laid with each other. And all the times since then, where they hadn’t done that. Seventeen years of not doing that. All of it ended by Alexandria reaching out and taking hold of her and touching her for the first time in almost two decades. There was something odd about touching someone you’d kissed once when you had then been starved of their touch for seventeen years. There was something odd about touching someone when the last time you’d touched, you’d kissed for the very last time, knowing it was the last time. There was something odd about touching them when you weren’t allowed to kiss them anymore.

Especially when you still wanted to.

Instead, they were standing on either side of her mother, watching as Susan’s face contorted like she was sucking on a lemon rather than seeing her soon-to-be daughter-in-law in her potential wedding dress.

Alexandria wanted to die of embarrassment over her mother’s ridiculous shenanigans. Their whole lives, her parents had always told her to be polite and proper and appreciative, yet, here she was, invited along to a moment the in-laws weren’t often invited to, participating in this most important and consequential moment in Esme’s life—Esme who happened to be one of the loveliest human beings ever to walk the planet—and all Susan could do was be rude and critical. All because her son wasn’t making the same choices she did, as if he was simply her clone, put here to be the perfect copy of her. Or to be her perfect little robot. If only her parents could see that she and Daniel were their own people, living their own lives. And none of that was a reason to be so unconscionably rude to Esme.

She snuck another look at Hailey. They only had a few minutes before she needed to leave again. Alexandria told herself she wasn’t sad about that, that she was checking on Hailey just to ensure that Susan was the only one frowning at Esme. Realistically, it was much more the fact that she wanted to spend all of her days gazing upon Hailey.

Plus, the amused and knowing smirk Hailey wore was still oddly grounding.

Through all of the actions Susan made that wound Alexandria up, Hailey simply became more amused. Alexandria knew she wasn’t amused about Susan judging Esme—and, should Esme even begin to register Susan’s feelings, Alexandria was certain Hailey would be willing to tear her mother’s head off. It was more amusement at how ridiculous Susan was being, how absurd it was to be so upset at Esme marrying her son, at Esme’s desire to wear a colourful dress. This was, after all, Esme's day. If she wanted to wear a rainbow pantsuit, that would be well within her rights.

Knowing Hailey simply found Susan’s disappointment amusing helped Alexandria accept the ridiculousness of her mother’s behaviour as more akin to a toddler throwing a tantrum than a grown woman for whom she was responsible. Her mother was an adult with control over her own actions and she needed to sort herself out before Daniel and Esme got married without her.

Esme stepped out of the dressing room again, back in the turquoise number Susan had been so offended by earlier. Alexandria’s face split into a wide grin. Even worrying about her mum couldn’t stop her from recognising how beautiful and happy Esme looked in that dress.

She beamed at herself in front of the mirror, swishing from side to side and watching the way the dress moved with her. This was only their first shop, but Alexandria was certain this was the dress Esme would marry Daniel in. She was absolutely radiant.

“I do really love this one,” Esme whispered shyly to her own mother.

Celia grinned tearfully at her daughter. “You look so beautiful.”

“You really do,” Hailey agreed, nodding enthusiastically. “Glad I was here to see this one. I think it might bethe one.”

“Agreed,” Alexandria said, so in awe at how obvious it was that all of the pieces of the wardrobe-based universe had clicked into place for Esme, that she didn’t even think about the fact that she was doing it again—finding her natural rhythm with Hailey, speaking seamlessly after her, thinking the same things.

Something in the universe was really out to get her, making it far, far too easy to justbewith Hailey.

“I think you might be right,” Esme said, cautiously excited. “And, we’ll have to go check out the other shops, but I think I’m going to buy this one anyway. I can always bring it back if I find a better one, but I think I’d be devastated if they sold out before I got it.”

Susan tutted quietly, interrupting Alexandria's belief that Esme’s potential devastation was probably a sign this was the dress. She sighed. “Yes, Mum?” she asked, quietly.

“Oh, nothing, nothing. Don’t mind me.” Her tone put the image of her clutching a patent leather handbag in Alexandria’s mind—someone scandalised for no real reason but acting too horrified to function anyway. “Just some random girl spending all Daniel’s hard-earned money on some frivolous dress.”

The bubble of happiness that had been filling Alexandria as she’d watched Esme twirl, and the adoring look on Celia’s face as she looked at her child as if in disbelief that she could have made something so perfect, popped. Why did her mother have to be so casually cruel?

Hailey sent her a conspiratorial look, one that immediately filled the empty space inside her with something frantic, nervous, and wanting. “I’m pretty sure Dan wouldn’t have given her money if he didn’t want her to spend it,” she said, looking from Alexandria to Susan briefly. “Besides, I pay pretty well. She might be spending her own money.”

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