Page 41 of I Always Will

“Oh, yeah?” Hailey said, more interested than she tried to show.

“Yeah… I know it’s so weird of me to call you, but I needed to speak to someone who would get it. Plus, I’ve… you know… been in therapy and I’m trying to face the things I find difficult or want to avoid.”

“I’m something you want to avoid?” She was genuinely interested in the answer. She knew there were a million reasons she should be trying, or wanting, to avoid Alexandria, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel that way.

“No,” Alexandria said quietly. “Not really.”

Hailey felt like she was glowing inside. She laughed, attempting to remain casual. “So I’m not still the bane of your existence?”

Alexandria groaned in a way Hailey knew meant she was mortified. “Not in a bad way.”

“I’m not sure anyone has ever said that in a complimentary way,” she laughed.

“Well, consider this the first time, then. I’m a trendsetter.”

“Oh, of course. Starting a linguistic revolution.”

“You know me.”

There was something melancholy about her tone and it dimmed the edges of Hailey’s shine. They could be them again, but there were all the things still left unsaid, all of the things they needed to face if they were going to be anything of consequence again. And that was probably what Alexandria was avoiding.

Hailey was avoiding it too.

“I do know you,” she said, her voice softer, more emotional than she’d planned.

Alexandria cleared her throat. “So, anyway…”

“Yeah. What’s up?” The car felt colder again. The clear, dark night outside pressed in through the windows, and the deserted street she was parked on felt lonelier than it had a minute ago.

“I just…” Alexandria sighed in that way she did when she struggled with her own inability to say what she was actually feeling for fear of offending someone or being rude. “I wanted to thank you for all of the ways you’ve been supporting Daniel and Esme and calling out my mum. You really are very skilled at doing that. So, thank you.”

Hailey sucked in a breath, unsure of herself, of all of this. It was only ever Alexandria who could make her feel this way. “You don’t have to worry. I’m glad to be there for Esme and Dan. I’m glad to be there for you, too.”

Alexandria’s breath hitched. The space between them had never felt closer, or further apart. Hailey wasn’t sure whether she was supposed to acknowledge it or continue talking like she didn’t know Alexandria every bit as well as she knew herself.

“Esme chose the turquoise dress,” Alexandria said after several minutes of them listening to each other breathe.

“Ah.” Hailey could imagine how Susan would feel about that.

“I’m glad she did. She looked beautiful and happy in it.”

“She really did.” Hailey adjusted her seat back, leaning into it and smiling softly at the memory of Esme twirling before the mirror. She’d looked so content. Celia had looked so proud.

It was a foolish, painful thought, but she couldn’t help but be a little sad that, if it had been hers and Alexandria’s wedding, Alexandria wouldn’t get that look if she wanted anything other than a traditional gown. She wasn’t sure exactly what Alexandria dreamed of wearing at her wedding—if she dreamed of that at all—but she’d always suspected she’d do things her own way. Probably not a turquoise dress, but not whatever Susan would want to put her in.

Alexandria had been spot on when she’d said her parents were having a hard time realising she and Dan were their own people. Susan and Richard were still lost in the idea that Alexandria and Dan were little dolls to play house and dress up with, instead of the incredible, fully-formed individuals they were. If she ever had kids, Hailey never wanted to lose sight of who they were as people. How different Alexandria’s life might have been if she’d been given that.

How different her own life might have been if she’d been given that too.

“Daniel also told them he’s hyphenating his name,” Alexandria whispered. “Right before I had to leave.”

Hailey winced. “How did that go?”

“Pretty weird, honestly.” She sighed heavily. “It became a jumping off point for why Daniel feels the need to get married, so quickly and unconventionally, and what their friends are going to think.”

“What does it matter what their friends think? Get new friends if they can’t handle it.” Hailey seethed for Esme and Dan and Alexandria. What Susan’s and Richard's friends thought of Dan’s wedding was so far from relevant it was ridiculous.

“They talked about it for a while and… I think my mum started coming around.”

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