Page 59 of I Always Will

She chewed her lip as she watched Esme invite the Daleys to have food and take their orders. She didn’t know what to do until Alexandria’s eyes slid to her as she ordered the Welsh rarebit and beans, and then she knew exactly what she needed to do.

Alexandria was nervous because she’d given herself away. She was worried she was the only one who’d spent the last seventeen years pining and aching and sending love letters into the world for someone who would never see or hear them. But that wasn’t true.

Hailey sped into the back, tracking Homer down. “Hey, can you cover for me out front for a few minutes? I need to go grab something. It’s urgent.”

They looked at her, bewildered. “Of course. No problem. Are you okay?”

“I’m good and you’re a Godsend. I’ll be right back.”

She bolted for her office, grabbing her coat and keys before racing home as fast as she could. When she got there, she realised she had no idea how long Alexandria would stay at Mash-N-Go. She undoubtedly had a busy day planned with Dan and Susan.

She pulled her phone out and shot off a text to Esme telling her not to let the Daleys leave until she got back.

In a drawer, she found a large gift box. She pulled it out and knelt before her bookshelf.

The first journal—the one Alexandria had gifted her all those years ago. Three from somewhere in the middle. The latest complete one.

She placed them in the box and scrambled around for a piece of paper to write a note on.

She was going to regret this if it went badly. She couldn’t even remember some of the things that were in the older journals, but this was her shot and she couldn’t not take it. She’d let Alexandria slip away once before. She wasn’t letting it happen again.

Alexandria had revealed herself, had owned up to wanting Hailey over the last seventeen years. Hailey could do the same thing. She could show her just how alike they’d been in their grief and longing. This was her moment and she was going to try everything she could to keep Alexandria this time.

Twenty-Four

Present day

Hailey stared unseeingly at her computer. She had gone through so many stages of anxiety and grief this week that she didn’t know if she had anything left to give. Of course, she had to find a reserve somewhere—it was Thursday and she had one more day of work and then Esme and Dan’s wedding this weekend. As if that would help anything.

She was happy for them and so excited for Esme, but Alexandria would be there.

Hailey had known that giving Alexandria the journals had been a risk, a leap. It was one she’d been willing to take, certain Alexandria was considering the same leap, and that she’d be there to catch Hailey.

Four days later, that did not seem to be the case.

She’d heard diddly-squat from Alexandria since she’d handed her the journals on Sunday. Alexandria hadn’t opened them in front of everyone, and Hailey hadn’t explained what they were, but, when she’d handed them over and told Alexandria she wanted her to read the story she’d been writing, recognition, awe, and something hopeful had shone in her eyes and, for one, glistening moment, Hailey had been certain she’d done the right thing.

Now, she knew she hadn’t.

Perhaps she should have taken the leap in the moment. Alexandria’s message had been clear. Maybe she should have just said the words she’d been itching to and asked if they could try again.

Perhaps she should have been more careful about the journals she had selected. Several of them had been written many years ago, too long to remember what was in them. She’d thought she was giving Alexandria a gift, a sign that she still loved her. Was it possible she’d done the exact opposite?

That seemed to be the only explanation for four days of silence after someone handed you their heart on a platter.

Esme danced into the room looking happy and excited and all of the things Hailey had been hoping to feel herself two days before she saw Alexandria again.

Hailey forced a smile onto her face, though she knew it didn’t touch her eyes. “All wrapped up?”

“Yes,” Esme said happily. “We’re all done for the day and I’ve worked my last shift before my wedding. Can you believe it?”

“I absolutely cannot,” Hailey said, exhausted but happy for her. She was so excited. She looked like everything was falling into place in her life. Hailey wished she knew what that felt like.

“I was worried at first about how long we had to wait to tie the knot, but it’s actually come around really quickly.”

Hailey laughed. “Only in your world isthirty-two daysa long wait to get married.”

Esme preened like it was a compliment.

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