Page 69 of I Always Will

It hurt Alexandria’s heart that she caused Hailey so much pain—pain she’d seen in the pages of the journals—but they were moving past that now. Sure, they’d need to talk it through, to address the ways they’d hurt each other and themselves, but they would be doing it together. She just knew it. And that was amazing.

After making it through a few more pictures—none of which were traditionally posed or styled, and all of which she knew Daniel and Esme were going to love—they were released for dinner and Farid appeared at her side.

“So,” he said, clearly amused, “how are we doing?”

Alexandria narrowed her eyes at him. “I’m grateful you came but you really are enjoying this too much, you know that?”

“Oh, believe me, I’ve heard exactly that from Hailey.” He laughed, leading her over to where a long, wooden table had been set up with heat lamps and fairy lights and so many winding, natural, beautiful flowers that it looked like it had been plucked from a fairy world, or, at the very least, the pages of a very fancy wedding magazine.

It was both hilarious and apt that they were going to be eating from a mashed potato bar at this table. Two weeks ago, Alexandria had been certain her mother would be dying over the scene. Now, she seemed only marginally confused over some of the choices Daniel and Esme had made. Old habits die hard and all that.

Susan was tearing herself and her life up and rebuilding it with all new foundations. Alexandria supposed it was to be expected that the old Susan would be peeking through in places. She had been with Alexandria’s dad for a long time. They must have agreed on some things. If Alexandria were to guess, she’d probably pick white weddings to be one of them.

Initially, Alexandria had expected Daniel and Esme to go without a seating plan, and that had been in consideration. Then, Esme had learned she could make little counters of all of her guests and play pretend her wedding on a little floorplan on their coffee table. Daniel’s friend—an absolute master of calligraphy—had also sent him pictures of the most gorgeous escort cards around the same time, and the whole thing had been a done deal.

Alexandria wandered down the table, finding her seat, Farid on one side of her, Celia on the other, and sat down, feeling more like a magical princess than she ever had in her life.

When Daniel popped out from behind an ancient oak tree moments later, announcing himself and his new wife, the table went wild. Most of the guests had found their seats but Alexandria noticed there was no sign of Hailey and too many empty seats to tell where she’d be sitting.

Esme, who had added a coat over her intricate turquoise dress, stood behind her seat and beamed at her gathered guests. “Thank you all so much for being here. My husband and I—”

She was cut off by the raucous round of applause and cheering that went up around the table, blushing and smiling adoringly at Daniel as she waited for it to pass. Alexandria wasn’t sure she’d ever seen two people so in love, nor had she ever been so happy for anyone in her entire life as she was for them.

Farid leaned in. “That’s exactly how you and Hailey look at each other. Just in case you’re curious.”

Alexandria’s stomach dropped and she looked at him in surprise, but, before she could say anything, the cheers died down and Esme was able to continue.

“My husband and I are so grateful to have you all in our lives and to have you here to celebrate with us,” she said, continuing through the lighter cheers that accompanied her speech this time. “And, I don’t know about you, but I am definitely ready for some dinner and mashed potato will absolutely hit the spot, so have at it.”

She and Daniel led the way to the buffet table that had been set up under the cover of the remnants of an old stone barn, directing those with dietary needs to Homer—one of Hailey’s most reliable staff members, Alexandria had observed over the past month—before heading down the row to have their meals assembled.

Susan appeared at Alexandria’s side as she was looking around for Hailey. “I think I’m going to get the curried potato bowl,” she announced happily.

Alexandria had been getting anxious thinking about where Hailey was and when they’d get a moment to speak to one another, but that sentence well and truly shocked her out of her panic.

She looked at her mum. “I haven’t seen you eat curry in years,” she said, knowing that the curried potato dish was the creation of two of Hailey’s most creative and talented chefs—Johar and Chandani. Both were Indian and brought so many wonderful dishes and twists on dishes to the restaurant. But that also meant that Alexandria knew just how spicey some of the components of that incredible dish were—Hailey had told her last week how she'd ascended to a higher state of being after trying its special revamp for the wedding.

Susan bobbed her head to the side. “Your father isn’t a fan,” she said, a little awkwardly. “But it used to be one of my favourite foods.”

She really was an entirely different person than she’d seemed for the last thirty-five years. They’d eaten curries when Alexandria and Daniel were growing up and she now realised she had seen her mother eating them and not her father. It hurt her heart to think Susan had stopped eating them for him. Alexandria hoped she'd be able to do things for herself more now that she was alone.

It was sad, really, the idea of needing to be alone to be yourself, to eat foods that mean so much to you—and it was clear from Susan’s expression that curry and the memories associated with it meant the world to her—but she hoped for all the happiness in the world for her mum.

“Never give up the things you love for someone who claims to love you,” her mother said seriously, giving her an intense look.

Alexandria felt like Susan was plumbing down into her soul and back in time, back to when she’d told Alexandria over and over again that it wasn’t a good idea to give up her dream of Edinburgh for a high school friend.

Maybe this was what she’d really been trying to say all along. Or maybe it wasn’t, but she wished it was. Love the person who supports your dreams, not the one who tears them down and turns you into a shell of the person you really are.

“Oh, I don’t think she needs to worry about that,” Farid cut in with a cheeky grin before capturing Susan’s attention to discuss the chutneys that were being served with the curried potato dish.

Alexandria shuffled along, attempting to shake off her mortification at Farid’s comment and refocus on attempting to locate Hailey. She knew she had to be here somewhere, making sure everything was running smoothly. She had an amazing staff, but it would be very odd for her to set them up and then not help out. It wouldn’t be very Hailey.

When it was their turn to order, Alexandria had overheard enough of her mother and Farid’s conversation that there was only one dish she could possibly think to order. She happily told Chandani she, too, wanted the curried potatoes, and it was then that the world shrank into one tiny point.

Hailey.

Red hair and green suit and killer laugh and that way she had of just connecting with people and putting them at ease.

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