Page 47 of Crescendo

I sighed, eating another bite of our rainbow pickled vegetables, hoping the sharpness of them would push back against the vise that threatened to lock around my chest.

Alisha sipped her own drink. “I was rather under the impression that it was one of those things we were better off not addressing directly.”

Sian threw her empty hand up into the air.

“No, no,” I said, cutting in. “It’s fine. We can talk about it.”

I wasn’t sure if I was really ready to, but they were my best friends. It would be okay.

Sian grinned. “Well, then. Shall we start with Lydia?”

I laughed, my insides still feeling tense and uncomfortable. “Must we?”

Lydia and I were keeping us a secret. She’d been right when she said everyone knowing would make it too real. But we couldn’t really talk about Crescendo and not talk about Lydia.

Sian hummed, scooping hummus up into a piece of pita. “Given that you turned up lookingthoroughlysatisfied, I’d say we must, yes.”

I felt myself blushing, glancing to the tables next to us to check they weren’t listening in. They seemed to be caught up in their own conversations, but it was still a little close for comfort and that was mortifying.

Alisha reached across the table to pat my hand that felt suddenly cold. “You don’t have to give us details. We’re just really happy for you.”

I smiled at her, my muscles feeling like they were working too hard for the simple gesture. The whole thing was supposed to be simple, but I knew where this conversation led. We talked about Lydia, and music, and ended up on Callum. It was easier around her, like I could put everything else away and just do as she asked, play music because it washerthing, have fun, let everything else go, and let her be in charge. But it never was going to be that easy, not really.

“But,” Sian said, leaning in across the small table, “if you want to give us the details, I would not say no.”

I barked a laugh. “Is this just because you think she’s hot? Are you trying to sleep with her vicariously?”

“Not no, honestly.” She shrugged and sipped her drink. “She’s objectively gorgeous and she’s got that… I don’t know, bratty, confident streak. I like that in bed.”

“Oh, my god, Sian.”

Alisha laughed. “In Sian’s defense, it’s not like wedidn’tknow that.”

“I know,” I groaned. “But it’s not something I want to be thinking about when I’m—” I stopped abruptly, my face going bright red.

Now, I’d done it. I’d given us up without even meaning to, without deciding I was going to. I’d still been of half a mind to just deny anything was happening.

Sian laughed, the sound dirty and victorious. “You owe me a tenner,” she told Alisha.

Alisha rolled her eyes but fished for her bag to pull the money out.

“Do I even want to know?” I asked, sinking down in my seat.

Sian grinned. “I bet her you two were fucking like rabbits. She thought you hadn’t quite gotten there yet.”

I scrunched my face up. “I can’t believe you.”

“Ha. Yes, you can.” She waited for me to open my eyes and look at her. “If you want to make me another fiver, you can tell us when you first did it.”

“Nothing’s going on,” I tried, uselessly. They knew me too well to buy it. “We’re just friends.”

“Like shit you are,” Sian snorted. “You can try pulling that on your little Crescendo friends, but we’ve known you your entire adult life. So spill.”

What difference did it make at this point? They both knew and I wasn’t ashamed of it. It wasn’t the first time we’d talkedabout who we were… seeing? Dating? Secretly fucking in dark corners? Whatever. And maybe admitting to one time would help. If they thought we just had a one-night stand, maybe we could all move past it without it becoming something bigger?

So long as they knew it wasn’t anything serious, we’d be fine.

“Last night,” I sighed, not meeting either of their gazes. “But it was just a one-time thing.”

---