They’d be fine. Someone else would start playing and everyone would move on.
Maybe they wouldn’t forget, but I needed to believe they did. Eliza wasn’t the first one to break down in this room in front of an audience.
It wasn’t difficult to hear the lounge door slam open when I got out of the soundproofed room. That was where she’d headed. Easier than if she’d fled the building.
I paused briefly at the vending machines before following in after her.
She twisted violently to glare at me, betrayed by the idea of anyone coming after her, seeing her like this.
“I brought tea,” I said softly, approaching and holding one cup out to her.
“Vending machine crap?” Her voice was so brittle and angry—so hurt.
I shot her a look, still holding out the paper cup. “I work in a hospital, this is practically gourmet.”
She narrowed her red-rimmed eyes. “You need better taste.”
I almost laughed, wondering whether she meant in women, too. We both knew I wouldn’t agree—we both knew she didn’t really think liking Lydia meant you had bad taste—but this was the game she played and she needed me to keep up with that right now.
“Maybe,” I said. “But it’s hot enough to scald at least.”
She frowned, finally taking the cup. “Your suggestion is to drink it so hot you can’t taste it?”
“Not really a suggestion, more a statement of… possibility.”
She looked away, nursing the cup in a way that suggested she needed it more than she was willing to let on. “What do you want, Ella?”
I knew this. I could handle this. It wasn’t the first time I’d been the closest target for people to throw their anger at. I didn’t mind it. Of course, people threw a lot of cruel, unnecessary shit at medical staff sometimes, but, in my line of work, they just needed a safe place to channel their fear. And, unfortunately, some people had been taught that anger was easier than fear—especially when faced with a radiologist giving them news they’d hoped to never hear. It was understandable. And it felt familiar.
I could be a target for Eliza’s anger and I wouldn’t hold it against her later. It wassomethingI could do.
“Are you okay?” I asked, prepared for any answer she was willing to give.
She scoffed. “What do you think? Half of our class just watched me fail. A pathetic piece children should be able to playand I couldn’t do it. Isn’t that funny? Snobby, mean Eliza finally getting her comeuppance.Habloodyha.I hope you all enjoyed the show.”
“Nobody is thinking that about you.”
She whirled again to stare at me and I’d never seen her look so frazzled. Tears streaming down her cheeks and destroying her usually pristine makeup. “Of course they are. Everyone’s been waiting and hoping for this.” She laughed bitterly. “I hadn’t expected Hannah to be one of them, but here we are. She’s fallen in line with your perfect little Lydia, so I’m sure you can all get together later and laugh at me.”
“We’re not going to do that,” I assured her quietly.
“Why not?Why not?” She flung her empty hand out, looking for all the world as if she were inviting the universe to smite her. “All those comments about how I was going to beat Lydia and she wasn’t all that. What a fucking joke. Turns out everyone likes her better and I wasn’t even good enough to be in competition with her. We finally have an opportunity for me to achieve my dream and she’stoo goodto even be considered. I’m in competition with some fucking random who’s never played music before.”
She froze, seeming to realise what she’d just said. Whatever part of her it was that seemed… protective of me rose up and she crumpled at having just insulted me.
I smiled gently at her. “If it makes you feel better, I grew up with music. This whole thing has been me… coming back to it, rather than learning it for the first time.”
She sniffed sharply, swiping at her face in a way she clearly hoped I wouldn’t notice—impossible though that hope was. “I’m sorry,” she said stiffly.
I shook my head. “You don’t have to be. I’m not that fragile.”
Her face flashed with something akin to panic. “She’s going to hurt you, you know?”
I frowned. “Lydia?”
“Yes, of course Lydia. You two could have been friends, but she’s going to destroy you and it’s going to ruin everything you’ve got. Your little friendship group? It’s all going to fall apart. All because she couldn’t take my advice on one thing and leave you the fuck alone.”
Her natural accent came out a little more when she was worked up and swearing. It didn’t seem as strong as Hannah’s, but that was what happened when you spent so much time trying to develop a new one, I supposed.