Page 43 of Matched

Twisting my hands together beneath the table, I forced myself to meet Sophie’s gaze. “I’m sorry. It’s not you, it’s me. I know people say that as an excuse, but it is me. After that date we had, I think I knew it was gonna be a friends thing for me, and then when we were at the student union with everyone…I should’ve said something then, I know.”

Biting down on her lip, she nodded. “It’s okay.” Her voice was small, and fuck, her hand was shaking as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Thank you for telling me. I guess…I think I knew that you didn’t feel the same way as me, deep down, when I kissed you and you didn’t even kiss me back, but I hoped… Well. Never mind.”

My eyes widened. “I didn’t kiss you back? I was sure I did.” The whole thing had been a shock, a quick blur, and I couldn’t even be sure I was remembering it properly.

“No. You just kind of froze. Your mouth didn’t even move.”

“Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean?—”

“It’s okay.” It wasn’t, but it was clear that she didn’t want to talk about it anymore, and neither did I. “I think I’m going to leave now.” Sliding her chair back, she glanced down at her untouched coffee, her mouth twisting. “It’s nothing personal.”

“You don’t have to explain,” I rushed out before she could say anything else. “I really am sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry. You can’t help the way you feel, and I can’t help the way I feel. I—I’ll see you around, okay? I think…I’d like to stay friends, but I might need some space for a bit.”

“Yeah, yeah. ’Course.” I took a large gulp of my own coffee. Fuck, it was hot. “I’d, uh, like that too. To stay friends.”

She nodded jerkily. “Okay. Um. Bye.”

When she’d disappeared from the coffee shop, I slumped back in my seat with a groan. I should’ve made things clear to her at the student union. I’d known, even then, that I didn’t want to pursue anything more with her, not when I couldn’t get Nate out of my head.

Do you even fucking know how it feels to be jealous of your own fucking sister? Do you know how fucked up that is, Charlie?

His tortured words played on repeat. The whole situation was a complete and utter mess, and I just prayed that I could get over whatever I was feeling for him quickly and somehow salvage what remained of our friendship. If there was anything left of it after he’d run away from me like a criminal fleeing the scene of a crime.

Fucking mugger.

He’d stolen something far more valuable than my phone or my wallet. He’d stolen my fucking senses with that kiss. No onehadeverkissed me like that before. Like they needed me to breathe. Like they’d die without my mouth on theirs.

I doubted I’d ever have a kiss like that again.

Sipping my coffee more slowly, I scrolled through my phone, doing my best to forget about people whose names began withNand who could give me butterflies just from a smile. It was a lost cause, though, because today was the day I’d see him for the first time since Friday. He’d texted me to say he wanted to speak to me at our football session, which he surprisingly hadn’t cancelled, so I had another awkward conversation to look forward to. That was why I’d chosen to have the conversation with Sophie today—so I could get through both of the hard conversations with the Glover siblings in one day. Then I could go home, curl up on my bed, and finally let my stupid feelings overwhelm me.

My lip trembled, and I tugged it between my teeth, glad I was sitting in the back corner of the coffee shop. Why was everything so hard? I’d hurt Sophie, I’d hurt Nate, and I’d hurt myself.

“I hate having feelings,” I mumbled aloud and then instantly clamped my mouth shut, my face flushing.

“Bad break-up?”

“Huh?” My head flew up to see one of the baristas eyeing me sympathetically.

I sighed. Great. They’d obviously heard me. “Not really. Can you break up with someone if you were never together? It wasn’t like… We met up a few times with friends and went on one date together on our own. She kissed me, and I…yeah. I didn’t feel the same way. I like her brother.” Why the fuck was I telling a random stranger all my problems?

The barista’s eyes widened. “Her brother?”

“Yeah. We kissed, and then he ran away. Not really a good sign, huh? I have to see him later, and I have no idea what I’m gonna do.”

“Take my advice. Talk it out. It’s always better in the long run.”

Talk it out.That was already the plan, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t dreading it.

Beneath the table, the side of my foot pressed against my gym bag. Two more hours to go.

The team training session was still going on when I arrived at the pitch, so I took a seat on a bench at the side, next to my housemate Elliot. “Hi,” he said when I placed my bag on the bench and dropped down next to him. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

“Yeah.” I didn’t want to go into the whole Nate thing because that would involve giving him details I wasn’t ready to share, especially when I didn’t know how my conversation with Nate was going to go. I didn’t want to outright lie to him, so I decided to redirect the conversation. “It was fun getting to train with the team. If things had been different, I would’ve loved to be a proper part of it.”

I didn’t need to elaborate because all my housemates knew that I had two jobs to send money home to my siblings. “Life isn’t fair sometimes,” Elliot said softly. “From what I saw when you were training with them, you’re easily as good as anyone else on the team. I wish things were different for you.”

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