Page 72 of Matched

The smile he gave me was everything.

31

“Igot your text.”Sophie glanced over at the Nissan Micra idling in the car park. “Millie said she’ll give us half an hour. Is that okay?”

When I nodded, she waved at Millie, who beeped the horn in acknowledgement before steering out of the exit.

“They’re all going to get coffee for the drive home, then they’ll come back to pick me up,” she said as we began walking. “Where do you want to go?”

“There’s a big park just down the road. We can go there and talk.”

The short walk to the park was made in silence, both of us wrapped up in our own thoughts. I wasn’t sure how to begin the conversation, and I wished I’d had time to discuss it with Charlie beforehand, but it hadn’t worked out that way.

I only had time to speak to him briefly before the coaches left, and now I wouldn’t get to see him until Tuesday. After the high of winning the cup, it was a bit of a comedown because not only had Charlie gone, but my entire team was on a coach back to London while I remained in Plymouth.

Speaking of my teammates…the news of the kiss between Charlie and me had spread like wildfire. Some were unsurprised—namely Ander—some were confused, thinking Charlie was dating my sister, but most of them took it in their stride. I guess it wasn’t big news, not when we had so many queer players already. After enduring some good-natured teasing about my “secret romance,” I was left in peace to shower and get out of the stadium.

My teammates were one thing, but my sister…

“Let’s sit here,” I suggested, indicating towards a grassy bank. When we were both seated, I turned to Sophie. She was already looking at me, hurt clear in her expression.

“Why did you hide it, Nate?”

“Fuck, Soph. I’m so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. Believe it or not, we tried to stay away from each other, but I guess you saw how well that worked out.”

“I understand why you didn’t want to say anything to me because I was into Charlie, but Nate—you two looked really close on the pitch, and I don’t mean physically. It seems like you’ve been together for a while, and that’s what hurts.” Her lip trembled. “I didn’t even have a clue, and you let me say all those things about how I wasn’t over with him, and I just feel like such a fool. If you’d told me you were together, I would’ve dealt with it. I’m not some fragile child you have to shelter from the truth.”

Guilt swamped me. I had no defence. Only the truth, as much of it as I could give her. “I know, and I’m sorry. You have to know, this came out of nowhere for both of us. It started when we both used that app Jonas designed for his project. He messedup the algorithm, and instead of sending us on dates with girls, it sent us on a date with each other. Then it happened a second time. Nothing happened between us then, though. We stayed in touch, and then he started training with the team.” I shrugged, not knowing how to explain. “I don’t know how or why things changed. It was just…different with him. We clicked straight away, and we seem to get each other in a way I’ve never really experienced before.”

Running her fingers along the blades of grass by her knee, she nodded. “Okay. Well…I’m glad you connected with each other. When did you get together? Was it when you told me you were bi? Wait a minute—is that why he said we could only be friends? Or was it—please tell me you weren’t with him when he went on that date with me?” Her eyes widened as her voice dropped to a horrified whisper.

“Soph, no. I’dneverdo that to you, and neither would Charlie. We kissed that night you saw me in the student union, when you were there celebrating the end of his training. That was the first time anything happened between us, and I felt so fucking guilty I actually ran away from him.”

A surprised laugh burst from her throat, and she clapped her palm over her mouth to stifle the sound. Quickly lowering her hand she stared at me incredulously. “You kissed him and ran away.You. My big brother, who faces everything head-on?”

“I think your opinion of me might be slightly skewed. But yeah, I did, and I’m not proud of it. I had a crisis over it all, and that was around the same time Charlie told you he just wanted to be friends. I had no idea he was meeting you, by the way. I arranged to speak with him myself, to tell him that we needed to go back to being friends. There was no point in us starting anything up. It was too fucking messy.”

“Was it?” Her gaze sharpened as she studied me.

“Yeah. You still liked him, and even if you hadn’t, there’s the whole thing of me moving here.”

“Hmm. That sounds like excuses to me, but anyway. Obviously, you didn’t manage to stay friends, unless snogging your friends in front of everyone is a new way of expressing your friendship.”

“No. We tried, but…yeah. It didn’t work out that way.”

She was silent for a while, idly plucking blades of grass and lining them up on her knee. Eventually, she smiled. “I’m happy for you, just so you know.”

“You are? Even though I hid it from you? Even though you like him, too?”

“That’s old news.” She waved her hand in the air. “I’m over him, and even if I wasn’t, the fact is, he’s into you. Not me. So that’s irrelevant. Yes, it did hurt when I was blindsided by the sight of you kissing him today, but I do understand why you kept it from me. Just…trust me to be able to handle things in the future, okay?”

“You’re the fucking best.” I reached out my arm, tugging her into my side. “I will. I’m gonna miss you so much when I move here.”

Brushing the grass from her knee, she sighed. “Me too. A lot. Although I guess it’ll be even worse for you. You’ll have two people you love who are missing you.”

“I—Idon’t love Charlie.” The lie tasted like ash in my mouth.

“Alright.” How did she manage to inject one single word with so much sarcasm?

---