Page 125 of Spindrift

Shestood. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“It’snot what you think.”

“Whatam I thinking then?” She couldn’t keep the hurt out of her voice any more thanshe could prevent it from rising in anger. Emilia’s throat worked as sheswallowed, but she didn’t answer. “You’re leaving.”

“No,I—”

“It’snot your fault. I knew this was coming. I’m happy for you, really.”

“Morgan,I’m not—”

Shecut off Emilia’s protest. “Do you know who this is?”

Emiliapaled further.

“Youknow what, it doesn’t matter. She’s a good agent.” It was bad enough she sawKate’s name and face on signs in yards on her rounds. But here? She couldn’ttake it in the room where she’d just exposed her heart so thoroughly. She beganpulling on her clothes.

“Wait.Please.”

Thepleading in Emilia’s voice halted her.

“I’mstaying,” Emilia said. “I’m staying in Seal Cove.”

Disbeliefcoated Morgan’s tongue. “Then why are you listing the house?”

Emiliatucked her knees to her chest. “I’m not.”

Morganheld up the card in a counter.

“Iwasn’t sure. I called her a few weeks ago to set up an appointment. I thought Ishould consider all my options. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Mestaying. Us.”

Shewanted to believe Emilia. She wanted to let those words soothe the agonyshredding her insides. Emilia, though, had made it clear from the start thatshe had come here searching for clarity. Morgan had been a wrench in thatmachinery from the beginning.

“Why?”she asked.

“BecauseI love you.” Emilia’s voice broke on the words.

Morganstood with her shirt in her hands and her jeans half zipped, a cold ringing inher ears. Emilia’s vulnerability was a scalpel in her gut. This was everythingshe wanted, but hearing it, hearing Emilia echo the words that had beenknocking around inside of her, bruising her, changing her, she felt fear closearound her like the winter ocean.

“Ican’t,” she heard herself say. She’d told herself she needed to keep herdistance from Emilia to protect Emilia. Now, the shell of that lie had cracked,and she stared at the shriveled, cowardly thing inside and knew she didn’t havethe strength to watch it get crushed again.

“Youcan’t what?” Emilia said, stricken.

“Ican’t do this.”

Ilove you, she’dsaid, a harpoon to her chest, hooking her sternum and full of deadly promise.Kate had loved her once too, and Kate had left. She could not survive a secondtime. Not when what she felt for Emilia so fully transcended what she had feltfor Kate, whom she’d been ready to commit the rest of her life to.

Whatwould she lose to this woman?

“Morgan—”

“Goodluck with everything, Emilia.” She turned, pulling her shirt on backward andabandoning her bra entirely, and grabbed her keys. She heard Emilia standbehind her. Not waiting to hear what else she had to say, Morgan fumbled withthe latch on the door and ran into the night air. The truck started up with agrowl that covered her scream. As she backed out of the drive, she saw Emiliasilhouetted in the doorway. The image seared itself into her retinas, and sheknew she’d see it every time she blinked. That didn’t change anything.

Somethings couldn’t be changed.

• • •

Morgandidn’t answer her phone. Not that night, nor the next, and by the third dayEmilia stopped trying. Everything had gone wrong. She forced herself out of bedeach morning, but without Morgan to look forward to her days lacked structure.The house was finished. The gardens were in check. There was only so far or sofast she could run on her morning jogs, and going to the dock felt too muchlike seeking Morgan out. She avoided her boat for that first week, and insteadof sailing drifted around the empty house while her dog watched her out ofworried eyes. Sometimes she went back to bed, lying in a half-sleep for hoursat a time. This wasn’t anything new. Sleeping was what her brain did when itsnapped. Some people drank. Others raged. She slept.

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