Turning to me, he adjusts a strap on my vest. Then another. His fingers graze my ribs, andI freeze.
Not just from the touch.
He could press harder. Pull tighter. He doesn’t. He touches just enough to remind me who’s in control—and how badly he wants me to feel it. I feel fully handled when he touches me like that, and I never knew how badly I craved it.
“You don’t trust them yet,” he murmurs, his breath brushing the curve of my ear.
It isn’t just trust. I’m not one of them yet, not like my sister was and definitely not like he is.
“No,” I say. “You know me.” My voice is husky. “I don’t trust anyone.”
It’s a lie though. I trusthim.
I feel the shift in him—that pause—that inhale like he’s biting back something darker.
I turn my face toward him slowly. Our noses almost brush.
His hand lingers a second too long on my waist, then drops.
He steps back.
“Stay behind Zoya,” he orders, all commander. My skin is prickly, and my god, I want him.Now.I’mwet.Wet, like a fucking Pavlovian dog at his command and presence. I might’ve been guilty as fuck falling in love with him, but I can say with absolute honesty that Ineverfelt like this with him before. But now?
We stare at each other, and I hate how quiet it gets.
Because I’m not just gearing up for a training drill.
I push back the memory of my fears, of what I thought back at the bar and shake my head. I can’t deal with that, not now. I have to compartmentalize. I have to deal with the present.
“No fucking around, Ruthie,” he says, holding me by the front of the vest, two straps anchored in his fists. “You get me?” He doesn’t blink… just bends down and holds my gaze. “If it turns real,” he adds, “I’ll get to you first.”
I scoff. “Romantic.” Even as my heart thumps madly in my chest.
He smirks.
“No.” His voice drops, low and sharp. “Strategy.”
“Sounds good,Captain.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “Listen to me, woman. Behave yourself.”
Thump.
“Or what?”
He slides a knuckle under my chin. “Or I’ll have to make sure to teach you a lesson, won’t I?”
Won’t he?I melt like butter on a frying pan but manage to stand upright. Yay me.
We need to get this behind us. To get back on solid footing. To stop running from our enemies and establish… whatever comes next.
I gulp as Rafail starts shouting orders, and we fall into line. My stomach twists, but not from nerves. Not exactly.
There’s a part of me trying not to feel.
Not now. Not here. Not while I’m counting days and pretending I’m not holding my breath.
Chapter 22