Page 61 of Not Our First Rodeo
Beau spares me another look. “Still nervous?”
Yes, but I feel better too. Squaring my shoulders, I say, “I’m good. Let’s go.”
To my surprise, he wraps his hand around mine and lifts it to his lips, pressing a kiss on the back of it before leading me down the hall. When we finally make it into the living room, the center of all the chaos and noise, I can still feel the echo of his kiss on my skin.
Clint notices us first, his face lighting up when he sees me, and he makes his way across the living room on long legs, eating up the distance between us.
“Elsie,” he says, just as he wraps his arms around me in a hug. “I’m glad you’re home.”
It’s an echo of what his daughter said, and it makes my throat and heart squeeze in tandem.
“Me too,” I murmur into his chest.
“I’m really glad you’re here,” he whispers and pulls back. “No more staying away.”
I swallow against the lump in my throat. “I won’t,” I say, and it’s true. Now that I’m back here, in this place with these people, I don’t think I’d have the strength to distance myself again.
The next few minutes are a swarm of hugs and well wishes, ending with Lottie. She was the one I was most worried about. She’s fierce and loyal and protective, and I hurt her baby. But to my surprise, she doesn’t seem to hold it against me.
She even hugs me, something I can count on one hand the amount of times it’s happened before. And when she does, she whispers “welcome back, Elsie” in my ear in a way that makes me feel the uncharacteristic need to blink back tears.
I don’t know who I’m becoming, but I don’t think I hate it.
When we finally settle at the table, it’s with Cash in my lap, Jade on one side of me, and Beau on the other, his thigh pressed against mine beneath the table. It all feels so, so right in a way I can’t comprehend. In some ways, it feels as though I never left. In others, like I’ve been gone for much too long. Ruby is missing her two front teeth. Cash plays T-ball. Cooper bought a new truck. The Dawsons booked a Caribbean cruise. Ryder has a “girlfriend” at preschool. Cheyenne got a job waiting tables at a new restaurant that just opened in town.
It’s overwhelming in the best way possible, and I don’t know how I went so long without these people. Without my family.
“Anything new with you guys?” Lottie asks, looking at Beau and me.
I catch his eye, and he nods at me, a small smile playing on his lips. We had a plan of how to tell them—after dinner, when we all sat around the living room with drinks and plates full of summer berry pie.
But the news is bursting inside me, fizzing on the energy of this evening, of being surrounded by the first people to teach me what unconditional love is. And I want them to knownow. To share in the excitement with us.
“We’re having a girl.”
“When can we throw you a baby shower?” Cheyenne asks after dinner. Beau finally managed to wrench her hand away from my stomach before disappearing somewhere with Cooper.
I glance at Jade, wondering if she mentioned it to them, but she gives me a small shake of her head before going back to braiding Ruby’s hair.
“I, um,” I stumble over my words, overwhelmed. “I wasn’t expecting one.”
Lottie gives me a hard look. “You can’t expect to buy everything on your own. You either tell us what you want and let us buy it for you, or you’re going to end up with a bunch of stuff you didn’t pick out, understand?”
My lips roll together to hold back my smile, and I nod. “Okay.”
They dive into plans for a baby shower, all the women present throwing out ideas, and I listen, overwhelmed. Emotion clogs my throat as they volley ideas back and forth—themes, days, times, guest lists—until I finally feel overwhelmed by it, by their forgiveness and acceptance andlove.
“I’ll be right back,” I say to the group, who barely spares me a glance as I leave the living room in search of fresh air. I need a minute alone and the sun on my skin, so I head for the back porch, detouring through the mudroom.
I stop in my tracks when I hear voices through the open Dutch door. It’s Beau and Cooper, beers in hand, leaning against the porch rail, eyes fixed on the horizon.
“I was wrong about her,” Cooper says.
Beau casts him a look before turning back to the mountains, the land that is as much a part of this family as the people in it.
“She’s not herself anymore. She’s withdrawn.” He pauses. “Hurting. I thought she broke you, but she was broken herself.”
Beau shakes his head, staring down at his feet. There’s a tense set to his shoulders, and I want to smooth it away. I want to reach for him, but my legs stay locked in place, waiting for his response. My throat is thick, my heart beating so loudly I’m surprised they can’t hear it. I’m immobile, desperate to hear his reply.
