Page 192 of The Silent Note

The song ends and the adrenaline rush slips away as fast as it appeared.

And once again, I’m nothing but the selfish piece of crap again.

The darkness is pressing in on me. There are too many bodies. Sweat flinging around. BO from someone’s pits.

Smiles start to crack on the faces around me. Haunted, glazed eyes stare back like mirrors of mine. It’s awful. This darkness, these aggravated shadows, this whiff of internal torment.

But the club, the party life,thisis my home. When did I stop thinking this was a good time?

I love you too.

The words I whispered to Grey resonate in my head.

There’s a spear in my heart, a giant, harpoon bigger than the one that took down Moby Dick. And it’s making itself known again.

I end the live.

The hearts filling my screen disappear.

Black.

Like my soul.

My thoughts are rushing, which means I’m too sober.

I leave Pringle and her octopus group. Their shadows chase me down all the way to the counter.

“Aren’t you going to buy me a drink?” Panoma says. I glance around and we’re alone. Somehow, she managed to beat her friends off and now she’s the only one sinking her manicured claws into me.

I gesture for the bartender to attend to her.

He nods.

“You look way more handsome in person than you do online.” She leans forward, spilling more of her cleavage.

“Is there something on my face?”

“No, you’re just handsome.”

I squeeze my eyes shut, fighting off the echoes of Grey that are still lashing through me.

Paige offers a sultry smile. “What’s wrong?”

I shake my head, a lump in my throat that means I’m about to do something embarrassing—like cry.

“Aw, who was she?”

I press my lips together, refusing to utter Grey’s name.

“It’s alright.” Paisley presses into me, undulating her hips like she’s giving me a lap dance standing up. In a soft, inviting whisper, she breathes into my ear, “I can make you forget her.”

Immediately, I shove her away.

Her twelve-inch heels can’t keep up with her backward trot and she falls to the floor.

I look down at her in disgust. “Who said I wanted to forget her?”

“Priscilla!” Disco Girl’s friends shoot over and pick her up off the floor. They all shoot me angry stares.

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