Page 35 of Sinister Red

Right up until I got out anyway, because over the last couple weeks the good doctor has gotten sloppy.

Which accounts for the nervous attitude while taking his latest side piece out for an afternoon at a shithole motel in Rolling Meadows.

And this shit pisses me right off.

I may be mad at Sofie, downright angry with her for the way she handled our relationship and not having the balls to break things off with me to my face before abandoning me in the middle of a shitstorm, but I don’t want to see her played this way.

Sofie Berk was—is—it for me, the only woman I have ever loved.

I was ready to make a life with her, to do whatever she asked me to do in order to make that a reality, and the fact that I’m still so fucking in love with her even though she shit all over me makes me nearly as angry as the fact that the guy she willingly gave forever to is fucking around behind her back.

Bastard has no idea what he’s throwing away.

Despite being hurt and heartbroken, I still know Sofie is the best woman I’ve ever met. She’s kind and compassionate, smart and funny as hell. Sofie is driven and feisty, stubborn and sticks to her guns no matter what kind of consequences may come from it. And Sofie Berk loves with her whole fucking heart, so if you’re lucky enough to have that woman give it to you, you’d be a fool to take it for granted.

I never did, and I’m not sure if she ever truly loved me.

Something she proved when she just walked away from the best year of my life without so much as afuck you, and the fact that she never said it back when I told her exactly how I felt about her is just more fuel on the fire.

Which makes me even stupider than I originally thought.

How could Sofie love someone like me?

Because she couldn’t.

I was just abad boy, a biker thug that fed her rebellious side and made her the queen of my fucked up world for a short time. It was forbidden and risky, dangerous to be with me, and that’s all it was ever going to be for her. A walk on the wild side that was easy to walk away from completely when shit got real.

Sofie was my forever and I was nothing more than a good time for her.

A good time that still wasn’t good enough.

My phone buzzes on the dashboard and I finally pull my stare away from room four in favor of checking it.

MARBLES:Church in twenty. Important.

I roll my eyes.

No shit, it’s important.

We still only hold church on Friday night, so if Tank is feeling spiritual at four-thirty in the afternoon on a goddamn Tuesday, of course that shit is going to be important.

ME:Gonna take me longer than twenty to get there, but I’ll be there.

MARBLES: Doc?

ME: You need one or are you asking if I’m seeing one?

MARBLES: You catch him again?

ME: Yeah. Same chick as the last two times.

MARBLES: Harlow is gonna be pissed.

ME: I told you not to tell her.

MARBLES: You start sucking my dick and maybe I’ll listen to you.

MARBLES: She hasn’t said nothing though.

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