Page 88 of Broken Warrior
“Fin?”
I grin at the now complete Fat Boy in James’s hands then meet his inquisitive blue eyes. “What’s up, bud?”
“I gots a question.”
“Ok.”
“A questions I gots to ask yous.”
“Ok…”
James bites his lip and starts wringing his hands the same way his mother does. “Do yous think…”
My heart starts beating a little faster as he glances at me before dropping his eyes to his lap.
Anxiety is just a part of life for me.
It was before I was an addict and it will be moving forward because I have a legitimate panic disorder, but it’s been more intense with Tate and James ever since they walked into my life and I know without a doubt that it’s because of how much I love them. I will never not be a nervous wreck when situations like this come up, but how warranted it is or what comes next is always going to depend onwhatthe situation entails.
And right now, my mind is battling between staying calm and knowing that things are ok—great even—or devising every worst case scenario for what James is going to ask that it can possibly conjure.
“Do you thinks that…”
“What is it, bud?” I swallow hard, terror creeping up my throat. “You know you can ask me anything you want to.”
He nods. “I know, but, I just wants to know if maybe I could…”
I am going to explode through my skin if this sweet little boy doesn’t ask me whatever he needs to ask me in the next five seconds.
“Do yous think I could have a real birthday party when I turns five?”
The breath whooshes from my lungs on a rough exhale, my body sagging in relief before I smile. “Heck yeah.”
James eyes snap to mine and the hope I see there, the hint of doubt, god, they fucking crush me. “Really?”
But I just nod as I bury the hate for Gino Valetti down deep for the time being. “You bet, bud.”
“With presents?”
“Yep.”
“And all mys family?” James’s eye widen as they light up.
“You know it.”
A beaming smile splits his face as he turns to face me. “With games and balloons? And ice cream and a big chocolate motorcycle cake that has wishing candles?”
“Is there any other kind?” I can’t help but smile back. “We’ll go all out, buddy. Maybe we can even get a bounce house and talk your Uncle Marbles and Jackal into going in there with you.”
“And yous!” James shouts. “Yous and Mama gots to come bounce too!”
My big ass might pop the bounce house, and honestly, his mama might knock herself out jumping around in anything but a hardcore sports bra, but I’m not going to disappoint him, so I just nod, knowing damn well Tate and I will get into the bounce house with this boy, damn the consequences.
“Everybody has to gos into the bounce house with me!” James pumps his little fist in the air then stops and looks at me thoughtfully. “Willa is too little.”
I grin. “That she is, buddy.”
“She can’t even walks yet.”
