Page 29 of His Curse

I shrug. "Probably. I'm not exactly sure who you'll be pissed at, but if it's your mom, don't be. You can't blame her for anything and you need to know that I don't either, but this is all definitely why our relationship is strained." My throat is so fucking dry right now but I've already started so there's really no turning back. Ronny would probably hate that more than anything I’m about to say.Hopefully."And if you're pissed at me, I'll understand. If what I'm gonna tell you, something I haven't told but four people the truth of, makes you decide you don't want anything to do with me then I'll understand that, too. So just know that I really appreciate our relationship, I value the bond you and I have, and if circumstances were different I would have been honored to call you my Beta."

"Uncle Colt, you're starting to freak me the fuck out. Just tell me already."

And with a sigh, I do.

"Just after your mom first shifted, maybe a year or two after, she started to get stressed out over not finding her mate. Back then it happened pretty fast for most wolves, happened within the first five years after answering the call but that wasn't quick enough for your mom. Our parents knew they were mates two months after their first shift and Mary expected the same, but when it didn't happen she got a little...desperate.” I drop my elbows to my knees as I lean forward but I don't break eye contact. "She did everything she could think of to find her mate. Mary tried every old wives tale, every superstition and myth to draw him to her but they were all bullshit stories, so your mom started looking elsewhere. Then one night after another failed attempt to find him at one of the pack runs, I found Mary alone in the meadow behind our house talking to herself. Or so I thought."

Gods, how fucking wrong I was about that shit.

"I overheard something about finding her mate, how desperate she was, how badly she wanted it, and the second I heard the wordstrade my soul for my mate,I hauled ass across that field and tackled your mother just as her chest started to glow."

Ronny's eyes go wide. "She was making a deal with ademon?"

I nod. "As soon as we were laid out in the grass the ground shook, the earth fucking moved, and silver flames exploded like a goddamn bomb and what we saw... fuck, I've never seen anything like that." Not even when Thologar took shape in front of me and Zan last year. The bastard that cursed me was bigger, older, and more terrifying than anyone our demon could callcousin.“He was an Ancient, older than Zan and his sire combined, and he was absolutely hideous. Four horns, twisted and mangled. Little wisps of wiry white hair. Skin so weathered and marked up it looked like a suit he was trying to wear, and his body, gods, his body was enormous but just as gruesome and twisted as the horns on his head. He was horrifying, disgusting, and I royally pissed him off.” I pick at the stump I'm sitting on, chipping away pieces of dead bark in an effort to maintain eye contact. "I stopped him from taking your mom's soul but not without being punished for it."

"What'd he do to you?"

"He cursed me,” I scoff. "Gave me a permanent fucking reminder of what happens when you interrupt an Ancient or stop a demon from doing what he was born to do, and he made it harder for both of us to find our mates as a littlebonus gift.”

Ronny leans toward me, totally enthralled. "How'd he curse you?"

"With another wolf. Not one like yours or mine, one that isn't like any other before or after. Theotheris the purest form of evil, an evil straight from The Caster of Shadows delivered through one of his sons and put directly inside me. I have no control over him, no way to stop him from doing what he does and I never really know when I'm going to shift into him instead of my wolf."

"I'm guessing that's part of why you disappear so often?"

I nod. "He's been a part of me since I was a little older than you, and thankfully, I've been able to pick up on some indicators; little things I feel or experience before he makes an appearance so it hasn't been too bad since we've been in Ashland. But it wasn't always like that."

"You left the Moon Goddess pack because of your curse.” His expression is stoney now, unreadable, and I'm inclined to believe I'm about to lose my nephew the way I've lost damn near everyone else.

But I keep going anyway. "We had to. The first time I shifted to theotherwas during a pack run and I wound up killing two members. The Beta, Delta, the Sentinels, and Elders, they exiled us immediately, forced your grandfather out of his status, and they condemned us."Gods this is making me sick to say out loud. "We wandered for a while until we came across another pack in Kentucky that was willing to take us in."

"But it happened again."

"Sort of. I didn't kill anybody right away but I destroyed their livestock, their homes. I injured their Delta pretty badly when he tried to fight me off. So we left again. Oklahoma then Iowa..." I push a hand back through my hair and finally drop my eyes for a beat before looking at him again. "That was the worst. I shifted during the meeting to vote us in and wound up wiping out the entire Wind Walker pack."

Ronny keeps that stoic look on his face but I see a muscle in his jaw tick. "Where did you go after that?"

"Nebraska then North Dakota. That was the last pack we tried to be a part of: the Lunar King pack."

"You leave that one for the same reason?"

I shake my head.

Even though Zan has been helping me work through my nightmare, and accidentally given me that stupid fucking hope that I didn't kill my mate, I'm not ready to share that with my nephew. Mary still doesn't know that's why we left and I don't need her adding it to the list of reasons why my sister can't stand the fact that we share blood.Killing my mate due to an out of control wolf I was cursed withwould probably rank right up there with allowing our parents to be murdered for a similar reason.

Not that I think Ronny would tell her, not out of spite or anything, anyway. He keeps his word and knowing he agreed to keep this between us means I could share that if I wanted to, but I just don't want to. I’m not ready. Besides, if for some reason my nephew doesn't get pissed at me over everything I’m telling him now, there's a good chance he would try to somehow use all of it to convince his mom she's being too hard on me, the same way he always does. Ronny has always been my number one fan but it’ll be a miracle if he feels that way after all this shit. Which he probably won't and I’d prefer not to add to it by throwing in the shit about my mate.

Ronny searches my face for a second, that serious expression unchanging before he nods like he heard everything I just thought. “No more packs after that one?"

"No. That was the last pack we tried to be a part of, so we moved around a bunch until we settled in Ashland. Things evened out after that for a bit.”

"Until Grandpa and Grandma were killed."

“Yeah.” I nod. "Your mom blamed me for that too. Blamed me for leaving our born-of pack, blamed me for every pack in between we couldn't stay with. And she blamed me for our parents’ deaths because I was the reason we had to move in the first place.” My shoulders sag as I pick a little more bark off the stump. "And because I was out dealing with theotherwhen it happened. She thinks if I was home I could have saved them. She thinks Ishouldhave saved them."

"Which you couldn't have, and probably would have just been killed too."

"Maybe.” I shrug. "Either way, it is what it is. I'm the reason we left the Moon Goddess pack, the reason we've never been part of one since then, and probably the reason you never got to meet your grandparents. Your mom and I haven't been the same since I was cursed, probably never will be, and it's definitely why she hates that you spend time with me."

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