Page 24 of A Man for the Holidays

He stares at me for a moment, and I’m unsure if he understands me, or wants to throw something at me.

“Spencer, there is a lot of stuff that I don’t understand, and things I need to learn. I have a lot of questions I need answers to and I’m just so afraid.”

“You don’t need to be afraid. I’m sorry about last night. How about you let me make it up to you tonight when I get home from work.”

He nods and gives me a smile, then I push myself off the bed and make my way out of his room.

I’m exhausted when I finally stroll through the door sometime after 7p.m. Walking through the foyer, my attention is caught by the man currently sitting in my living, or should I say, kneeling. His hands are laid out in front of him and he’s scanning through my CD collection, I stretch one arm above my head and rest it against the doorjamb. A wide smile washes over me as I watch the beautiful man before me. Grateful for my decision to talk to the guy, and yeah okay, Paige’s persistence, I move myself away from the door and wander over to the man, then kneel beside him.

“Hi,” I say.

“Hi,” he answers.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Looking through your CD collection. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. See anything you like?”

“Not yet,” he says, sifting through the collection. “Although, I don’t really know what I’m looking for exactly.”

Still focusing his attention on my collection, he crawls across the floor slightly, until he reaches the third rack of CD’s. And when one of them catches his attention, I see him struggle to get it off the rack.

“Let me help you,” I offer.

I reach out and grab the CD from the rack and immediately stare at the cover, then angle my head at him and give him a smile.

“It was the first movie you and I saw together, I really liked the music, so I thought I could play it on that CD machine,” he says.

I laugh at his goofy but also adorable reply as I open the cover of theGreasesoundtrack. I turn on the CD player, then open the door and place the CD inside, before closing it again. When the player comes to life, I lower the volume and turn around so that I’m facing Quinn once again.

“It’s so wonderful,” he says.

“What is?” I ask.

“Life. It’s complicated, scary, messy and definitely dangerous, but more than anything, it’s so unpredictable.”

His eyes connect with mine and neither of us say anything and as the music plays softly around us, I slide myself closer toward him. I have a need for this man, a need that up until now, I didn’t think I would have. On the outside, I may be a regular citizen of New York with a great job, great friends and a wonderful place I can call home. But on the inside, I’m lonely, depressed and waiting for the right guy to come and sweep me off my feet, Quinn might just be the man I’m looking for.

“Yes, life can be all of those things, Quinn; and it can also be whatever you make it. But what’s most important of all, is how you choose to live your life.”

As I keep speaking, I find his eyes wandering up and down my torso, and it’s strange, as I sit here with this wonderful creation, I realize just how much, one person’s life can change in almost the blink of an eye.

“You said if I had any questions that I could ask you,” he says.

“Of course. What’s on your mind?” I ask.

“Yesterday, after you yelled at me and said all those things to me, I went to my room, and something happened.”

“Like what?” I ask, curiously.

“I can’t really explain it, Spencer. Except, I was sitting on my bed, and I suddenly felt a pain travel right through my body, but not like the pain I felt when I hurt my hands in the kitchen. This was different and I can’t really describe it, except that it hurt. And then when I touched my eyes with my fingers, I felt water in them, and it was on my cheeks too.”

It pains me to hear those words because, I unfortunately know the pain he’s talking about, and it’s because of me that he suffered that pain.

“Quinn I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You didn’t hurt me Spencer, did you?”

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