Page 61 of Black Castle

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” He silences her before she can even build the courage to keep talking.

“Um, sure. Okay.” She nods, releasing a defeated sigh.

After a beat, Vivienne clears her throat, sitting up on the couch. Kenji glances at her from the corner of his eyes, but his gaze remains focused on the screen.

“So, if you don’t wanna talk about your problems, can we maybe talk about mine?”

His gaze flickers to her, a tired exhale breaking through his lips, his brow raised. “Do I have a choice?”

“No, actually.” She gives him a sheepish grin.

He shakes his head, making a vague gesture for her to go on.

Hesitant to speak, Vivienne gazes at her hands. Kenji is probably tired of hearing about her boy problems. But he’s all she’s got. He’s the only one that will genuinely listen.

“So, Ian is still texting me.”

Kenji’s expression flattens. “And?”

“I’m at my wit’s end, Kenji, trying to figure out what to do,” she says, voice mirroring her frustration. “I spent weeks trying to reach out to this guy, you know. Even got him a damn job. Which I’m not even sure he has shown up for, by the way.” She runs a hand through her hair. “I guess I don’t know what to say to him? This whole shit is making me absolutely nuts.”

“And on the other hand?” He raises a brow.

“And,” she murmurs, her fingers picking at the thread sticking out of her arm warmer. “And I kinda wanna talk to Lucan.”

Kenji straightens slightly, his expression darkening.

“I haven’t unblocked him,” she rushes to admit, as if she needs any reason to justify her actions. “But I think what I did to him was wrong. Maybe I was too fast. I mean, I already knew things like this are new to him. What if he didn’t know how to commit or how to handle a relationship? What if he just needed a few more weeks or even months?” Pausing, her eyes dart to the screen, yet her attention remains diffuse. “I don’t know. I feel like maybe I closed the door on him too quickly. I was impatient and selfish, wanting everything done at my pace and timing, you know?”

She takes a deep breath. Ever since she gazed at his picture for hours in the bleachers that day, it’s been on her mind frequently. He is a man of brief words. And it’s also difficult to read his emotions because he’s not an open book. Just because she feels deeply doesn’t mean he’s emotionless. He might have required her help to comprehend his feelings. But she blocked him instead, closing the door on him without giving him a chance.

“Honestly, I really want you to move on from these,” Kenji advises, tone serious. “Both relationships or whatever keep hurting you. I really want you to leave them behind and take a distinct step.”

Unsatisfied, she knit her brows at what he just said. Surely, cutting off the two men who have truly ever made her feel things at a great length isn’t the only solution to this problem, is it?

“Especially the Russian dude,” he adds. “I don’t know. There is just something really off about him, you know. No social media, no records, nothing? For heaven’s sake, why didn’t you find it weird? You thought he was being cool for being incognito or what?”

Vivienne bites her lower lip nervously. He is indeed making a fair point. But maybe she’s just too stupid that she can’t see the signs because truly, she doesn’t see anything wrong with a man hating having his information on social media and his face on random people’s devices. If she has her way, she will go to that extent for herself too.

Honestly, when Lucan told her that, she thought it was pretty cool. Imagine being a ghost on the internet. So popular yet no one can provide any tangible information on you.

“Seriously, people who go that far to hide their existence usually have a damn good reason.” Kenji doesn’t seem to share her sentiment at all.

With quiet contemplation, Vivienne chews on the inside of her cheek.

Then Kenji leans forward. “For once, run in the opposite of danger, Vee.”

Swallowing hard, she acknowledges the painful truth in his words. But she can’t help the direction her heart keeps steering, can she?

“But,” he sighs, leaning back again. “I know you’re gonna do whatever you want, no matter what I say.”

A small smile tugs at her lips. “The chances are quite high, to be honest.”

He rolls his eyes, scoffing. “Just…follow your heart, Vivienne. That’s all I’m gonna say.”

She nods, the thought stirring inside her long after the conversation ends.

She needs to follow her heart.

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