Page 6 of Hitch Me

“Hey, you said it,” he winks at me.

He hesitates for a moment and we take in the sight together. Geoffrey folds his arms across his chest. “She’s pretty agile, isn’t she? I mean for being a woman of a certain age.”

That does it. I completely lose it, doubling over with laughter as Mom flails around the car, her pristine outfit getting more disheveled by the second. Choke seems to be having the time of his life. It looks something like a rooster riding a muddy, wildly overdressed, mechanical bull.

"Don’t you dare laugh. This is from Talbots!" Mom wails and does some kind of interpretive dance as Choke chases her around the pen. "Do something!"

Mom screams, and that's when Geoffrey and I both spring into action. Unfortunately, we spring in the same direction.

I dart left just as Geoffrey lunges right. It’s instant karma when we collide in the middle like a couple of amateur football players. The impact sends us both stumbling. I find myself falling backward with Geoffrey trying to catch me.

His hands grab for whatever they can reach to steady me. And what they reach is... more than a handful.

"Oh!" I gasp as Geoffrey's hands land squarely on my chest.

His eyes go wide as he realizes exactly what he's grabbed onto. "I'm sorry.” He pulls his hand away then adds, “kind of.”

Before he can finish his non-apology we lose our balance completely. Geoffrey tries to spin us around so he'll take the brunt of the fall. It’s sweet in theory, but disastrous in execution. We go down in a tangle of limbs. I land on top of him and his hands somehow manage to migrate from my chest to my ass in the process.

"BRYNN ROSE!" Mom's voice cuts through our chaotic tumble like a fire alarm.

I look up from where I'm sprawled across Geoffrey's chest to see her standing there with Choke still flapping at her side like the world's most aggressive handbag.

"What in the Lord's name is going on here?" Mom demands a response and gestures wildly at our compromising position.

Choke doesn’t love her talking to me like that. Or maybe he’s triggered by the flailing. Whatever the case, he digs his talons into her calf. Mom’s chaos starts all over again. With Mom occupied, I turn my attention to the fact that Geoffrey's hands are still firmly planted on my backside. All of a sudden I can feel every finger like we’ve been hitched together. He's looking up at me with an expression that's equal parts mortified and something else entirely.

"We were trying to help," I say weakly.

“Yes, by dry humping right here out in the open,” Geoffrey adds and his hand cups the curve of my cheek.

“What? No.” Laughter bubbles through me.

“Yes,” he raises his eyebrow with a flirty laugh.

"By groping each other?" Mom shrieks. "In broad daylight? On the ground like a couple of... of..."

"Animals?" Geoffrey suggests helpfully, which makes me snort with laughter despite the fact that I'm probably about to be disowned.

"This is exactly what I was afraid of!" Mom continues, her voice reaching pitches that are probably making bats uncomfortable. "I knew this whole ranch idea was a mistake! The influences here are clearly… OH GOD, IT'S IN MY HAIR!"

Choke has apparently decided that Mom's perfectly coiffed bob is the ideal place to build a nest, and he's going to town with the kind of enthusiasm usually reserved for home renovation shows.

"Okay, okay," Geoffrey says, his hand leaving my ass as he helps me sit up. "Let me handle this."

I get to my feet and he follows. Geofrey approaches Mom and her feathered tormentor with the kind of calm I definitely don't possess right now. My entire body is still tingling from where his hands were.

"Choke," Geoffrey says in that low, authoritative voice that makes my knees wobble. "Come here, buddy. Leave the fancy lady alone."

The rooster immediately perks up. It’s like he's been waiting for Geoffrey to join the chat. He hops down from Mom's head and struts over like he's done absolutely nothing wrong.

In one swift movement, Geoffrey scoops the rooster up and scratches under his chin. "You’re done here man, the party is over.”

Mom lets out the world's longest exhale. Even though I’m officially entering my twenty-eighth year of life, it still fills me with fear. She smooths down her destroyed hair with shaking hands. Her makeup is smudged. Her white outfit is now decorated with dirt, feathers, and what I really hope is just mud.

"That creature is a menace. And this whole situation is completely inappropriate. Brynn Rose, I cannot believe you would allow yourself to be... to be..."

"Tackled by a helpful cowboy?" I don’t know what comes over me when I blurt it out.

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