Page 21 of Breaking News

“No.”

Right. Of course not.“How much have you written?”

“A lot. I started it when I moved back here.”

“And you haven’t told anyone?”

“No. And please don’t let this get out. If I never finish it, I’ll feel like a failure.”

“Your secret’s safe with me. Thank you for trusting me with this,” I said, leaning onto my arms on the table. Xander sat down across from me, but neither of us reached for our forks. I tried to control my goofy grin, watching him nervously stare at the woodgrain on the table. “I can’t believe you haven’t even told Abigail this.”

A grin slowly stretched across his face. “Well,” he said, settling back into his chair some more. “I want to surprise her with the finished manuscript. I’ve had this goal in the back of my mind to complete it by her birthday and give it to her as a gift.”

The words hit me like a punch to the gut.

Xander Pierce would never be able to give me his whole heart, because it belonged to someone else. He could deny it until he turned blue in the face, but his eyes told a different story. I heard it in the way his voice softened when he spoke her name. He would never let me in the way he already had with her.

Just as soon as I realized I couldn’t compete with Abigail, it struck me that I really didn’t want to, anyway.

“Wow, what a sweet gesture.” My words carried just a hint of sarcasm, but it was enough to catch Xander’s attention. His smile faded when he realized the implications of what he’d just said.

“Jill, wait—”

“What a thoughtful gift.” The sarcasm wasn’t subtle anymore.

“Jillian. Please,” he said, closing his eyes in frustration. “Don’t be jealous of Abigail. It’s—”

“You are inlovewith her,” I spit out.

Xander muttered under his breath, shaking his head. “For fuck’s sake…” He dragged a hand down his face, then dropped it onto the table with a quiet thud. “That’s not what this is. Abigail’s just a friend. That’s it.”

I crossed my arms against my chest. Did he really believe the words coming out of his mouth, or was he just hoping I’d believe the lie? I fought the urge to mutter the word “bullshit” in his face, hoping instead he’d come to the realization on his own.

But he didn’t.

“Look,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re not the first woman to have an issue with my closeness to Abigail, and you sure as hell won’t be the last.”

The second the words tumbled out of his mouth, his whole expression changed.

Panic. Pure, immediate panic.

His eyes widened, and he dropped his gaze to his lap in shame. For a moment, neither of us spoke. Because we both knew those words signaled the end. I’d never seen this man blush, not once; but his cheeks were tinged pink with humiliation.

I needed him to look at me. “Xander,” I said, my voice just above a whisper. Tears burned at the edges of my vision, and I wished like hell they’d go away. The last thing I wanted was for him to see how much this was breaking me. But the sorrowful look in his eyes told me he already knew. My voice quivered as I spoke my next words. “Look me in the eye and tell me you’re not in love with her.”

He didn’t look away.

But he didn’t answer, either. Every second that dragged by felt longer than the last, and the only sound I could hear was my own pulse pounding in my ears. I wanted him to deny it, and Ineeded him to say it with such conviction I could actually believe it.Please, I silently begged him.

His shoulders sagged, and his eyes briefly flitted down to the table before finding mine again. “I… I’m sorry.”

A strange feeling came over me. It was like all the stress and panic I was holding inside spread out and escaped my body through my fingertips. I wasn’t feeling a sharp stab of betrayal or the weight of rejection.

It was relief.

He wasn’t trying to feed me some half-hearted excuse or forcing out a denial neither of us would believe. He was telling the truth.

And the tiny fracture in my heart wasn’t just from the blow I’d just been dealt. It wasn’t just about me.