Page 12 of The Therapist

“Come on Flash, we don’t need that kind of crap in our life.”

He lifts his droopy eyes at me in solidarity and follows me inside.

***

Pen clamped between my teeth I shuffle into NEL’s recreation room, overstuffed tote weighing down one shoulder. I don’t need anyone’s help zipping or unzipping my dress. I go out solo. I pay my own tab, with my own cash. The very wordalonesounds sad—even to me.

We crave companionship when sometimes what we really need is a reset. Knowing these facts doesn’t make me immuneto societal standards. I’m in my forties. I’m supposed to have or want someone by my side.

And I do.

I try.

I date when I can, but at my age, finding someone truly compatible seems like an added time-intensive challenge to my already busy life.

Nora’s in the corner, palm waving through the air at me. I do my best to smile around the pen in my mouth. My bag’s sliding down my arm, headed for a solid thunk on the floor as she approaches.

Her hands are outstretched. “What can I help with?”

I remove the pen from my lips and grin at her. “Gravity beat you to it.”

Shaking her head, she says, “When are you going to ask for help?”

I chuckle. “Right now, actually, before I forget.”

A groomed eyebrow arches. “Is this one of your attempts at a joke?”

“No,” I say, “I have a speaking engagement next month, the tenth I think, in Bathon and I don’t want to stay at the hotel. You mentioned Liam took you to a cute place a while back. Where was that?”

Her eyes light up. “It’s only twenty minutes from there. You’ll be enamored with it.” She claps her hands together. “You could use some time off. Stay the whole weekend. There are Adirondack chairs on the wrap-around porch that all face the ocean. I swear you could taste the salt water. It’s just what you—”

“Nora. It’s for work. Just a night,” I cut her short.

Her face falls and a pout emerges. “If you’re worried about Flash, he can come stay with me and Liam for the weekend.”

I glance at the clock behind her and realize I’m late for the group session I’m running. “It’s not that. Will you email me the contact info? I’m late to group.”

She flips her fiery hair over her shoulder while shooting me a pointed look. I assume that’s a yes, as I head toward the meeting room.

“Dr. R!”

I look over my shoulder at her.

“I’ll do you one better,” she says. But she’s wearing that duplicitous look she so often gave me when we first met. I don’t have time to inquire; I plaster a smile on my face and cross the threshold of the meeting room to welcome the attendees.

Five

Present

Flash gives me the most pathetic please-don’t-go face I’ve ever witnessed. I give him a quick pet between the ears and remind him I’ll be home shortly. It’s only a dinner date, but the poor dog doesn’t understand that when I leave the house it’s not for eternity. And he’s well versed in showing me just how pissed off and anxious my leaving him at home makes him in the form of household trash chewed and strewn all over the place upon my return.

But tonight, I stuck the trash cans on tables so the little devil can’t leave me any surprises. I’m already dreading this date. But when Aubry Clark sets you up on a blind date, you simply don’t say no.

You slap a smile on your face and graciously agree because she has a heart of gold.

All my NEL girls do.

I wonder how much longer I can hold out. It’s hard enough keeping the questions from flying at work. I don’t know what the next move is or the one after that.

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