Page 32 of Iron Cross

I came over to her side when Alfredo started to struggle again and picked up my own roll of tape, as I helped her cover his head with the silver adhesive.

“I thought the world was going to be bleak forever.” I started taping Alfredo’s eyes. It wasn’t strictly necessary, but it was a mercy for him, at least. “Then there she was, looking atmypainting and declaring it a masterpiece to a crowd of onlookers. When she turned around…”

I sighed, remembering the very moment I felt happiness for the first time in decades.

“Well, it felt like that day autumn turned to winter. When the dead, barren trees look like they’ll never be beautiful again, but then you wake up, and look outside, and see the snow blanketing the landscape. You realize, as ugly as everything outside was, it could be beautiful again. That’s what Kira was.”

Alfredo kicked, as the tape head-mask cut off his air. He was slowly suffocating to death, giving a last fight.

“She was the snow?” Shiny said, not seeming any less confused than before.

I placed my hand at the place where Alfredo’s nose would be, where the tape inflated and deflated with his breath. I pushed the tape against his mouth and nostrils, speeding up the process.

“Exactly!” I answered, as Alfredo flailed, the air cut off, his body gyrating as it tried to cling on to its mortal coil.

“And… that’s it? She was just pretty and liked your painting, while you were going through a hard time?”

I shrugged. “What is fate if not a confluence of events? What more do I truly need?”

The day Kira dropped into my life was the day Ichoseto be alive. The moment she looked at me and I laughed, realizing that the art curator wasn’t just some dilettante but was something else - someone genuine, and intelligent - I realized there was someone in the world who was just like me.

“What is love, if it is not finding the counterpoint you need to stay upright?” I asked, in a manner I imagined Morelli might, as he advised me with questions more than answers.

In one purposeful move, Shiny grabbed Alfredo’s head and jerked it to the side, breaking his neck.

“I feel satisfied,” I nodded, my hands on my hips. “I killed a man to protect my wife. My soul feels light for having done this. Surely, that counts for something.”

Shiny grabbed him below the arms, as I grabbed him by the feet, and together we lifted him up. We took him to the open, silver crematory, laying him on the slab. We collected his affects - the shoe that had fallen off of him, the wallet with his identification, and the comb he’d kept in his pocket, and tossed them onto his body. I pulled out a single penny from my pocket, and placed it on his forehead.

Shiny watched as the copper piece fell off the dead man’s face, clinking on the table, then shrugged. She understood my idiosyncrasies.

“What if she’s happier without you?” There was no joke or malice in Shiny’s voice. She was genuinely concerned for my wife, which I appreciated. But her skepticism made my skin crawl, as I swallowed the anger that threatened to ruin the rather nice bonding moment she and I had just had.

“If she truly is, then I will keep my distance. Protect, and not interfere.” I was almost sure that wasn’t a lie.

“You’ll be okay standing back and just observing?”

“Yes.”

No.

Maybe… yes.

I would have to make myself okay with it.

“If the only way I could see Kira was to become a ghost that watched over her as she slept, then I’ll cut my wrists right here and now.”

Chapter ten

The Nanny

Kira

Cillian had been an early walker and an avid explorer. Before he was a year old, he was able to waddle. Now, at two years old, he could climb and swing and do things far advanced for his age. He could recite his ABCs, point out shapes, colors, and objects, and piece together the world around him.

The time had flown by. It felt like only yesterday, I held him to my naked chest for the first time, and his eyes opened, as black as midnight, as he let out a little sigh. Now he was starting to talk, to mimic, and to act like a little man.

I was an indulgent mother. How could I not be? My son was an angel.

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