Page 67 of Iron Crown

“Finedoesn’t cry such bitter tears,” he said, his hand coming to cup my cheek.

The tears spread beneath the press of his palm. He didn't wipe them away. He didn’t kiss them and declare that my tears were his. He didn’t do anything but wait for an answer.

Yesterday, he would have demanded “who did this to you?” Then gone to kill whoever was responsible.

I was such a spoiled wife, and I’d been too stupid to cherish it.

“Wife, talk to me.” He slid closer to me, and the moment his hand curled around my waist, I completely broke down.

“Then why aren’t you holding me? Why aren’t you kissing me? Why aren’t you…” It all spilled out, even as I tried to keep it in. “Christ, I should be comforting you tonight, but instead, I’m crying like a pathetic, insecure woman.”

“Love, I’m… I’m trying to be a decent man.” He blurred in my vision as more tears came. There was no stopping them now. “I’m trying not to be so… demanding and obsessed. I’m trying to do the right thing by you.”

How could the right thing be distancing himself from me? When was that ever the right thing to do?

“Love, I’m trying to benormal,” he spat out. “I’m trying not to be the bastard I have always been. I’m trying to be…”

He let out a long sigh, as if the words defeated him.

“I don’t want to be a monster, Kira. Not to you, and not to Cillian.” His thumb came to flick my tears away, but more came to replace them. “I don’t want to be the man who made that painting outside. I want to be someone who can do right by you.”

“You’ve always done the right thing by me! Why—” my voice broke.

“I haven’t,” he said quietly, placing his thumb on my lips, stopping me from interrupting him. “I haven’t done right by you… or by our son.”

The ominous words added a new shade of black to the darkness around us.

“Yes, you have. You’re doing the right thing now to protect us.”

“I am,” he agreed, but then belatedly added, “I am,now.”

His hand came to my cheek and cupped my face. I reached up to put my hand on his shoulder, wanting to pull him closer.

“Don’t cry these for me, my loving Kira.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek, then one brow, and the other. “I am not worth your pain.”

His use of my name pricked at my ears. I had always been Wife, Muse, Love… so many names that onlyhecould use for me. So why was I now just Kira? I didn’t like it. More confirmation that something had shifted. Something bad had changed between us.

“I love you, Eoghan,” I whispered, “I love every part of you. I love you exactly as you are.”

“I’m a monster,” he said, his voice so heavy with sorrow. “You’ve seen what I am. You’ve seen what I can do. It wouldn’t take much to push me over the edge… I don’t want to be like my father. I don’t want Cillian to become like me. I don’t want you to be—”

I kissed him. I kissed him deep and hard. I wrapped myself around him, my arms and legs twisting until I could hold him against me, clutching on to him like he was my last lifeline.

I don’t know if he kissed me back. I didn’t care. I needed to kiss him. I needed to show him that as desperate as he was for me, I was desperate, too.

When I pried us apart, I asked the question that I truly needed him to answer.

“Does my love mean anything? Is my love not enough to ground you? Am I not enough?”

“Your love means everything.” His breath tickled my skin. “You are everything.”

He kissed my nose, the tenderness of it sending shivers down my spine.

“Your body is where I feel the sanest.”

“Then make love to me,” I commanded. “Useme, Eoghan. Let me make you whole.”

Chapter twenty-one

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