Page 46 of Heart Sick Hate

Every day, I walk into the shop and expect Crew to say something about our conversation at the bar. For him to make me regret drunkenly opening up to him and telling him all my secrets. Every day, I’m anxious.

And every day, he doesn’t.

He’s been keeping his distance, and I’m not sure what’s worse. The fact that I opened up or the fact that it scared him off.

I shouldn’t care. If anything, it’s for the best things go back to how they were before he started claiming rights to my virginity. So why does it hurt?

Rhett and I aren’t even engaged, and I’m already feeling the pressure. A fork in the road, and I know what path I’m meant to go down. Another one far more tempting.

Taking in a deep breath, I gather myself. Grip my composure and drag myself from the bed. It doesn’t matter how hard each day is, I have to face it.

By the time I get ready and head to the shop, I’m running late.

“Hey girl.” Fel pops up from behind the jewelry case when I walk in the front door.

Her wild red hair falls over her shoulders, and she smiles like someone who had plenty of fun on her honeymoon.

“You’re back.” I slide my sunglasses off and walk over to her, planting my hands on the display case and leaning forward. “How was Seattle?”

She’s practically glowing. Her cheeks are as bright as her eyes, and it’s more than just the shimmer she has coating her freckles.

“Incredible. Beautiful. Spectacular.” She looks up, all smiles. “At least, I think so. We barely left the hotel room.”

She bursts out laughing, and I shake my head.

“I did not need to know that.”

And not only because Jude is like a brother to me. But the thought of what they spent the last week doing puts my feelings on display with everything I’ve been avoiding myself.

“Fine, fine. I’ll share those details with Maren.” Fel closes the display case, and her bracelets clatter against the metal as it snaps shut. “How have things been around here?”

“Good.” I dip my thumbs in my jean pockets and shrug.

Fel scans me over, probably seeing straight through. “Good? Last time I saw everyone, Crew had a broken nose and two black eyes.”

“We’re past that.”

Technically true.

Me punching him for being an asshole seems like a lifetime ago with everything that’s happened since.

“Whatever you say.” Fel circles the case. Her yellow sundress fluttering around her thighs as the wind kicks up with the shop door opening and Crew walking through it.

The sight of him is a form of sick torture. Dark jeans fitting him perfectly. His dark gray Lamb of God T-shirt revealing every sculpted inch of his tattooed arms. It’s obscene.

Crew pauses, slipping his sunglasses off and raking his chestnut hair from his forehead. Our eyes meet, and we have the same silent conversation we’ve been repeating for a week. Secrets splayed out and neither of us is brave enough to face them.

The bruising around his eyes has all but faded, but he looks tired. Something is keeping him up at night, and my stomach’s in knots considering what he’s doing with that time. He isn’t the kind of guy who gets lonely, and I’ve heard his conversations with Sage and Jude these past eight years. I have no doubt he’s found plenty of ways to distract himself from my virginity.

Crew watches me as he walks past but doesn’t say anything. He might be waiting for me to break the silence, but I won’t.

I can’t.

It isn’t until his back is to me that I catch sight of the chain still around his neck. Even if he’s started tucking my purity ring under his T-shirt, he’s still wearing it.

Our secret.

I turn to busy myself by arranging the magazines on the front counter.

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