Page 97 of Saint

She hums, and I’m uneasy about the fact that she still doubts me when it’s been years since I’ve given her a reason to worry.

Luckily, she changes the subject. “Have you heard about the summer program yet?”

“Next week.”

“You’ll get it,” she says with certainty that I wish I felt.

“I hope so.”

“I know so.”

“But even if—”

“We’ll figure it out.” This time, she’s the one to cut me off. “You just worry about getting in. I’m picking up extra shifts so we can cover the trip.”

She’s already done enough.

She raised me and supported me when half the time, she could barely make rent. And even now, she’s running on fumes trying to find a way to satisfy my every dream.

“Violet, let me do this.”

Her tone is already defeated, and I can’t bring myself to make it worse. “All right. Thanks, Mom.”

Something muffled comes through a speaker in the background; she must be on shift at the hospital. “I have to go. But call me when you find out.”

“You know I will. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

I hang up, and a weight settles in my gut. I’ve been so distracted with Kole lately that everything else has been slipping. I’ve barely called my mom, I missed a shift at work over the weekend, and I spent half the time Ineeded to on my essay today, even though it’s part of my semester final.

Still, when the familiar ping rings out from my hand, I’m instantly lighter—borderline euphoric—when I glance down at my phone screen.

Saint: You did good, kitten.

I’m not sure how he could know that, but his praise soothes me more than I’d like.

Violet: You didn’t say you’d already spoken to your stepdad. What if I told a different story?

Saint: You wouldn’t have.

Violet: How do you know?

Saint: I know you. That’s how. You won’t do anything to break us, Violet.

Break us… I can barely breathe because of us. But he’s right. I won’t.

I don’t know what kind of person that makes me.

Violet: What now?

Saint: You’ll see.

31

Hold Me Under

Violet

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