Page 22 of Hard To Love

I wobbled my way into the bathroom, slamming the door in frustration. Under normal circumstances, I would freshen up and sneak through a darkened room and quickly hide under the covers for the night. However, tonight had been anything but normal and the buzz had kept my confidence high. Glancing in the mirror, I saw what needed to be done.

I reached into my purse and pulled out my powder and applied a few strokes across my cheeks to help smooth away the blush that had taken over my face. Something in the back of my mind told me that I needed to make myself completely available to him, or I would regret it tomorrow.

While I was running my fingers through my hair, I spied a bottle of mouthwash sitting on his vanity. There was no way I was going to go back out there without giving it my all. After quickly rinsing my mouth out, I applied a couple coats of lip-gloss, spritzed myself with a travel-sized bottle of perfume that I kept in my purse then stood back to see the results.

Liking what was now reflecting back at me in the mirror, I pulled down the zipper on my dress and let the fabric pool gently around my feet. Remembering the seductresses in my books, I left on my three-inch heels,convincing myself that they made me look about a foot taller. Clearly, my math wasn’t at its best tonight, but I felt sexy and confident, these heels had the potential to come in handy somehow. At least I hoped they did.

I looked into the mirror, glad that I chose my black lace push up bra and matching lace panties. After taking in a deep breath, I closed my eyes and prayed that I would be able to pull this off.

When I walked into the room, Chase had his back towards me, as he placed clothes out on the bed. My steps were quiet as I approached him from behind. The second he turned around and noticed me, I smiled at his deer-in headlights look, as his hooded gaze poured over my body.

Words seemed to escapehim as he silently took me in. His breath quickened and it was obvious to both us that he liked what he saw. Thank God, I silently said to myself. He looked me over like a twelve-year-old boy staring at his first pair of tits in a Playboy Magazine.

“My god woman, you look stunning!” he said eagerly, causing my stomach to twist and turn at his approval.

I was normally very self-conscious about my body, thanks to my mother’s harsh words that always seemed to play on repeat in my head. When you’re constantly told on a daily basis that you’re nothing special, eventually those words start to sear themselves into your conscience. No matter how much time had passed, they still lived inside of me, reminding me of who I used to be.

But Chase’s reaction to the way I looked had me feeling things I’d never felt before, I wanted to blame it on my current state of mind, because let’s face it, once you open yourself up, there’s always the chance that you’ll never be able to put yourself back together again. So, with that reminder, I smothered that feeling that stirred inside my chest and reminded myself that his reaction to me was strictly physical. That he couldn’t see through me, and know all the struggles I went through to get to where I was today. I worked hard for this body, and I was determined to let all my hard word pay off. Pushing my insecurities aside, I let the buzz of the alcohol work its way through my system. I needed the liquid courage to do what I was about to do.

I plastered a smile on my face as I sashayed my hips over to where he now sat on the edge of the bed. He snaked his arm around my waist, pulling me into his hard frame. I took advantage of practically sitting on his lap and intentionally pushed my chest out, placing my freshly perfumed breasts just within sniffing distance of his face. His one hand splayed wide on my back, holding me there as the other traced along the curve of my lips.

When his hands started to slowly move down across my skin, and land at the edge of my lace panties, I watched his gaze heat up every bit of my exposed skin. “Did you wear these for me tonight?” he asked, with a deep rasp to his voice, and started to knead his hands through the lace material.

Hell, this man made me crazy hot. There was no way he couldn’t feel how wet I was for him just thinking about where all this was headed. “Only for you,” I said, inching my lips towards his.

I’d never wanted a man more than I wanted Chase at that very moment. I didn’t care if it was special or a one-night stand, I just needed to be with him. Our kisses started out slow and soft as he parted his lips, allowing me to slip inside his waiting mouth. Our tongues found a rhythm like they were made for each other.

He took his hand and ran his fingers through my hair, gently massaging it with his fingertips while his other hand firmly held the base of my neck. Inching our bodies closer so there was no space between us, I framed his face with my hands and thrust my tongue deeper into his mouth. It was clear that I had made myself completely available to him as I pinned his torso against the mattress with my body and made sure to rub up against every inch of him.

Without warning, he pulled himself out from underneath me, as if he were fighting for his next breath. His stare bored into mine as I watched his thoughts about what just happened play across his face.

I held his gaze for a long moment and suddenly unleashed my hands to explore every inch of his body. It was obvious by the tent in his pants that he was just as affected as I was.

He took another pained breath like he was trying to control himself, but had reached his breaking point “You have no idea how much I want you right now and how fucking hard I am just looking at you like this.”

He ran his fingers possessively down my neck, circling when he got to my breast. His teeth nipped at my jaw causing a soft moan to escape my mouth. Damn this was hot, so hot that the ache between my legs was now burning. His hands continued to explore my body as I eagerly anticipated where his fingers would land.

Taking control, he flipped me on my back leaning directly over me. I watched as he reached down and removed my heels, gently caressing my feet. The thought of what this man’s hands were capable of was causing every nerve in my body to sizzle with electricity.

I wasn’t going to last much longer and judging by the size of his growing erection, he wouldn’t either. Just as I was ready to take this to the next level he pulled up so that our eyes could connect, but kept a respectable distance.

My head spun with uncertainty. Very slowly, I watched the tight muscles in his face ease into a mischievous smile. My confusion only deepened when that smile turned devilish.

I laid next to him, panting like a racehorse and as horny as a jackrabbit.

“I’m a man who has excellent self-control and I am promising you we will be together. Just not tonight. Now put on this t-shirt and go to sleep.” He extended his arm holding a freshly laundered shirt.

All I could see was red. I couldn’t stand this sexual confusion any longer. I wanted my pound of flesh. I couldn’t believe I allowed him to get me this worked up, just so he could leave me hanging.

“Is there something wrong with you?” I spat out, no longer caring about the words that left my mouth. I didn’t know what kind of head game he was playing, but I had reached my limit.

He looked amused by my comment. “I don’t know. Is there?”

Rolling my head from side to side I muttered, “Yup, there sure is.”

“And what would that be?”

I poked my finger inhis chest. “You like to play games, and do you know whathappens tomean people who like to fuck with other people’s heads?”

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