Page 35 of Hard To Love

Chapter Twelve

The last fewhours of the day crept by as I managed to finish my final appointment ahead of schedule. Looking at my watch, I realized that I had enough time to stop by my apartment to change out of my work clothes before I met Brad at the restaurant. I felt the urgent buzzing through my purse on my desk and reached in to read the inbound text. As soon as I saw the sender, a smile broke across my face.

I just finished up here at the office. A few of us are headed out for a few drinks. If I blow this case in court tomorrow, it’s all your fault. You’ve been on my mind all day. As a matter of fact, I’ve had a HARD time concentrating all week.

I pursed my lips wondering how to reply. After thinking it over for a few seconds, I eagerly tapped out my response.

Your job must be pretty boring if all you have to do is sit around and think about me! Sorry you’ve had such a ‘HARD’ week. Looks like I may have to practice on myself tonight to make sure I’m good and ready for you tomorrow. Hopefully you will be up to the task!

In less than thirty seconds my phone buzzed again,

Somebody’s feeling awfully brave right now. Are you questioning my ability? Because I assure you, everything on my end is in working order and I’ll be happy to prove it to you tomorrow. In fact, I’ll make sure I’m quite thorough.

I took a deep breath and tried to smother the images his threat had created in my head.

Thanks for the head’s up! I can’t wait to see you.

My phone buzzed a second later,

You better make sure you get your beauty sleep tonight because you won’t be doing much sleeping tomorrow. That’s a promise!

Closing my phone, I glanced in the mirror and noticed my cheeks were flushed. Willing myself to collect my thoughts, I shook my head and tried to focus on the task at hand—getting through dinner with my ex. I gave myself a mental pep talk as I turned on my heels and walked out of the apartment to go meet Brad at Peppino’s.

I walked into the little Italian restaurant spotting him sitting in a small booth in a back corner. I took a moment to get a read on his mood. He nervously sat bouncing his leg under the table as he typed into his phone. I couldn’t help but admire how handsome he was. He wasn’t the Chase Newman, take your breath away kind of handsome. He was more of a younger Brad Pitt look-alike, while Chase was Patrick Dempsey, AKA, Dr. McDreamy, both having their own individual appeal.

Spotting me at the door he waved his hand to signal for me to come join him. He greeted me with a smile while pulling out my chair, “Thanks for coming.”

Nervous tension settled in my throat as my hands fumbled with placing the napkin on my lap. “How have you been?” My voice came off a bit shaky. Because I was dreading the conversation, but knew we needed to have it.

He slid into his seat across from me then reached for my shaking hand, “You don’t need to be nervous Emily, it’s okay,” he gave me a knowing wink, and tilted his head with a gracious smile. “I ordered your favorite. Light sauce, extra cheese with sausage and peppers.”

He knew me so well. I didn’t want things to be awkward between us any longer. I wanted to make this right. “Thanks, so what do you want to talk about?” I took a sip of my water trying to suppress the nervousness that I felt.

The slight twitch in his jaw told me that he was nervous too. “Look Emily, I’m sorry for causing a scene when I saw you out a few weeks ago, I knew you would eventually find someone to replace me but I wasn’t prepared to see it happen so suddenly.” I could see the muscles in his neck tighten, physically reflecting the agitation he felt. After a brief pause and letting out a slow, frustrating breath he continued, “I’m not proud of how I handled the situation. I wasn’t prepared for that. I just don’t want any hard feelings between us going forward. You matter too much to me to allow that to happen.”

Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes as I reached across the table to grab his hand, hoping to reassure his concerns. “You have nothing to apologize for Brad,” a lone tear slid down my cheek. “You’re a wonderful man who deserves so much more than I could ever give you. I’m so sorry for hurting you, and for how we ended things.” I paused as more tears escaped my eyes. “Would it be too unfair to ask if we could be friends? I know it sounds so cliché, but I still can’t imagine my life without you being in it.”

I saw the tension slowly ease from his shoulders and the pain faded from his eyes as we stared silently at each other. He could see that the guilt caused by the breakup was weighing heavily on me.

“Stop beating yourself up. I know that you’re never going to feel the same way about me. I know you care about me; you don’t have to convince me of that, so just let it go. You deserve to be happy too, you know.” He raised his eyebrow and gave me a reassuring smile. “I want you to find your happiness and if I couldn’t be the one to give it to you, I want you to find it with someone who can.”

I swallowed hard trying to absorb the pain that sat in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t deserve his forgiveness and his graciousness, it only further reminded me that he was probably too good for me anyway. He was absolutely perfect, but just not for me.

“Why can’t you be an asshole and make this easier on me?” I blurted out between sobs while dabbing my eyes with a napkin.

He laughed and cleared his throat, “Speaking of assholes, what’s up with you and this new guy? Is it serious?”

My eyes shot up, wanting to defend Chase’s honor, but given the way he acted that night, most would say he deserved the title. Brad and Chase could not be more opposite and I didn’t expect them to become best friends anytime soon. A big part of me believed that despite their differences, andunder different circumstances, these two men would actually find they had a few things in common.

Biting my lip, I searched the floor, digging for an acceptable answer. I wanted to be honest, but I didn’t want to rub this budding romance in his face.

“We have only been seeing each other for a few weeks now and I’m kind of taking it day by day.”

“What’s his name?” He asked, sliding into his police interrogation mode.

“Chase”, I answered, knowing where he was going with this.

He tilted his head and cocked an eyebrow. “Does Chase have a last name?”

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