Page 53 of Hard To Love

My stomach dropped and a sense of dread started to leak inside my head. Something told me that my world was about to be turned upside down. Chase shot Cassie a look; he clenched his jaw trying to reign in his anger. He turned towards me, looking panicked and slightly guilty.

My head flipped between the both of them, “Can someone tell me what the HELL is going on here?” My frustration was escalating with every second that ticked by.

Chase took my hand and started drawing small circles on the inside of my wrist, contemplating his next words “There was a misunderstanding tonight.”

“Misunderstanding? Are you fucking kidding me?” Cassie shouted from across the room.

Chase glared at her, his jaw was set and his lips were pulled tight. “Would you mind letting me finish what I was saying?”

Waving her hand around in the air she replied. “No. Not at all. Please let the bullshit continue.”

Chase started plowing his hand through his hair. “Cassie saw me with someone else tonight at the party and she jumped to the wrong conclusion. It’s really not what it looked like.”

Cassie angled her head to the side, eyes narrowed. “Really? What did it look like Chase?”

I pulled my hands away from his. “Who did she see you with?”

He shifted his balance, then balled his hands into fists before shoving them in his pockets. “Megan was at the party tonight.”

I opened my mouth to say something but I was literally at a loss for words. This betrayal was worse than I could ever have imagined. I pushed his hands away as he tried to comfort me. At rapid fire, I started the interrogation. “Why was she there with you? Did you bring her? Did you guys go together or did you just run into her there?”

He started rubbing his face in his hands as I crossed my arms in a protective stance. Irritation flickered inside of me, fueling my anger. The prolonged silence created by his lack of reply to my questions had infuriated me. Immediately, I started to push on his chest, fighting back the tears. “Answer me, damn it.”

After finally breaking his silence, he confessed, “Yes, she was there with me, but it’s not what you think.”

Physical pain shot through me as I tried to control the rage that was building inside. I was determined to grab hold of the moment and not let him see me cry.

I pulled my thoughts together the best that I could. “I have been torn up inside for the past two days, wondering why you didn’t ask me to go to this party.” He started to talk but I pushed my hand up to his mouth and silenced his reply. “No. Don’t talk. Let me finish.” Glaring at him I continued, “I KNEW something was off but I chose to ignore it because I trusted you. I mean I am your girlfriend, right? At least, I’m one of your girlfriends, yes?”

Despite the sarcasm, there was no humor in my voice as I continued to lay into him. “How careless could you be?” He started to speak again but I pinned him with my gaze, letting him know that I intended to finish what I wanted to say. “I really did not see this coming. Looking back now, I feel so stupid. I’ve seen you with her a couple of times in odd circumstances, but you always had an explanation. Are you dating her, too?”

As if that thought was crazy, he hissed out a breath. “NO! Absolutely not.”

I swallowed hard. My stomach tightened to the point I could feel my heart beating in my ears. “Are you only sleeping with her, then?” I asked forcing the words out of my mouth hating the way they tasted on my tongue.

He hesitated for a second, and shook his head sideways, “No, I’m not sleeping with her, she’s just a friend.”

Something about the way he responded to that question didn’t sit right with me and I suddenly remembered this was a highly-skilled lawyer I was speaking with, not an untrained amateur. If I wanted the truth, I had better ask the right question.

“Have you ever slept with her?”

The delay in his answer said it all. Tears started to spill from my eyes.

His long-defeated sigh, sounded like a frustrated defendant who was caught in a lie, “Yes. I have, but…”

“STOP!” I screamed, as I held up my trembling hand. I felt my world spinning out of control and I just needed to stop the madness. There was nothing he could say that would make his explanation make sense to me.

“I guess all the ‘honest’ shit you threw in my face about Brad doesn’t pertain to you, huh.”

“That’s not what this is about.”

“It’s time for you to leave, Chase.”

“Emily, you have to let me explain.”

I swallowed the giant lump forming in the back of my throat. I tried to blink away the tears welling in my eyes, but the heartache and betrayal was too much to ignore.

My sobs were uncontrollable, and I hated that he saw me like this. “I can’t even look at you. Please go, I can’t do this with you right now.”

He started to walk towards me but Cassie stopped him. “Get the hell out of here. You’ve hurt her enough. It’s time for you to go.”

I could feel the weight of his stare on me but I refused to look. Finally, he gave up and quietly turned to leave. When he reached the door, he made his parting comment.

“I never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry. I know you need time to cool down. I get it. I’ll call you tomorrow and explain everything.”

As the door closed, I collapsed on the floor and bawled my eyes out.

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