Page 72 of Hard To Love

The breath I was holding exhaled tentatively. “I appreciate your friendship and the fact that you’re always there for me.” I paused while my panicked brain searched for the right words. No matter how hard I tried, I realized that I would never be able to soften the blow for him, so I just continued, “You’re probably not going to like what I’m about to tell you, but I’m sure you’ll find out eventually.” I stopped again, trying to look away and avert his burning gaze. Without success, I pushed on. “Chase and I are back together and I’m moving in with him.”

His eyes narrowed on me as he tightened his jaw so hard, I thought it might snap off. His expression became unreadable and had me sinking further into my seat. “Moving in with him?” He shouted while all the color drained from his face. He flexed his fingers like he wanted to run his fist through the wall. “Jesus, Emily, do you even know anything about the guy other than the size of his dick?”

His words slammed into me like a freight train and had me searching for a reply somewhere in my brain; unfortunately for me I couldn’t find one. I knew Brad had a temper, but it was the first time it had ever been directed towards me.

“Can I ask you something?” He leaned forward, “what does he have that I don’t?”

The words caught in my throat, as I struggled for a response, “Brad, it’s not like that.”

“Oh, it’s not. Why don’t you tell me how it is?” His gaze skated across my face so hard, it was if he wanted to rip the answer right out of me. “Tell me Emily, tell me how I gave you two years. Bought you a fucking ring. Practically begged you to take me back only to find out you had already moved on. Do you have any idea how much that killed me to think that I meant so little to you?”

I could feel the tears building in my eyes, but I didn’t dare swipe them away. I deserved every bit of his anger so I just sat there, and let him continue. “Even after you dumped my ass, I still held on to hope. Then, when you’re finally free again, I’m still there for you. Holding your hand. I’m always fucking there for you.” He smacked his chest forcefully. “I’m the only man who has ever stood by you. I’m the only person who has never left you. And you threw me away like I meant absolutely fucking nothing to you.”

And there went any last shred of hope. I had to smooth things over. The harsh delivery of his words hit me like a ton of bricks. The revolving door I had kept open for our friendship had now slammed shut right in my face.

Silently, he rose to his feet storming towards the door.

Shooting up from my chair in a panic, I called out to him, “Brad, where are you going? Don’t leave like this.”

He turned to look at me, and the look on his face almost broke me. “You never gave a damn before, so don’t act like you do now.” Before I could respond, Brad walked out of the conference room, slamming the door behind him.

My eyes stung with tears with the realization of how much I had hurt and angered him. I swallowed a large dose of reality and had to admit that I had accidently caused him incredible pain. Which was something I had hoped to avoid.

“Holy shit, woman. What did you do to that man?” Jonathan’s voice came from around the corner, when he poked his head into the conference room. “I’m not exactly sure what happened, but that guy is normally as gentle as a kitten and he stormed out of here like an angry lion.”

Jonathan was right. I had never seen Brad that upset in all the time we were together. I hung my head and allowed myself to mourn the friendship that I had lost. There was no coming back from it. It was over.

By the time, I got home I was famished. As I opened the fridge, my eyes landed on a few pieces of fruit and a block of cheese that rested on the bottom shelf. I walked over to the pantry and pulled out a few containers of nuts and a box of crackers.

The click of the lock on apartment door snapped me from my mindless preparation of my snack. Chase set his briefcase down by the door then walked over to where I was standing and slid his hands around my waist.

“Hey.” I turned to greet him so I could give him a proper kiss. “How was your day?”

“Long and boring, but it’s better now.” He smiled before pulling away. He walked into the living room and draped his suit jacket over the armchair then kicked his feet up on the coffee table.

As my eyes scanned the apartment, I felt a smile pull at the corners of my mouth. One of the photos I had placed in a frame rested comfortably on top of the fireplace mantel, and the other sat on our nightstand next to our bed. The Yankee throw I selected was proudly displayed on the back of the couch. My mind was still trying to grasp the fact that we were actually living together. It was a huge step, and one I had never taken before with another man. But seeing all my finishing touches scattered around not only made everything seem more real, but also sent a surge of warmth through me.

“I was just about to pour a glass of wine. Is red okay?”

“Sounds perfect.” He called from the couch while scrolling through his phone. A heavy sigh left my chest as I walked over to the wine rack and pulled out a bottle of our favorite Merlot. My brain had been a constant jumbled mess. It seemed to go from calm to chaos and back again without warning. After Brad stormed out of my office, the rest of my day was spent trying to catch up on work, so I never got the chance to call Chase and tell him what happened.

With two freshly poured glasses, and my plate of snacks. I took a seat next to him on the coach just as he finished up typing out an email.

“Here you go.” I smiled, as he took the wine glass out of my hand.

He loosened his tie and cast me a look. “I thought we were going out to eat?” He asked, popping one of the grapes in his mouth that he had just stolen off my plate.

“We are. I just had a long day and forgot to eat lunch. I’m just having a little snack.” I assured him hoping he wouldn’t read too much into my comment.

His arms pulled me tight against his body so my cheek could rest on his chest. My hands wrapped around his stomach as my mind debated on how I should bring up what had happened earlier with Brad. There was no easy way to talk about it and I was at the point where I just wanted to get the conversation over with and move on.

My stomach started twisting around in knots before I could even get the words out. “Brad stopped by my office today.”

His hand stilled on my shoulder and I lifted my head to meet his eyes. I went into a full account of our conversation and tried not leave anything out. Once I had finished, I sat up and tried to get a read on his thoughts. Even though it pained me even have to bring it up in the first place, I knew it was the right thing to do.

His eyes remained locked on mine, but he didn’t say a word.

“Say something, “I pleaded, while my breath hung in the air.

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