Page 83 of Hard To Leave

“I have no choice but to believe that. It’s so easy to look back now and pretend that we both would have done things differently. Do you honestly believe that I would have chosen to raise Tanner on my own if I thought that there was another way?”

He threw his head in his hands and gripped the ends of his hair. I stood, and brushed my hand over his back as his shoulders shook. “Brogan, you were a sick man back then. There is nothing that I would have wanted more than to have you by my side, but you weren’t ready to be a father back then. You could barely take care of yourself, let alone a baby.”

He sniffed and rubbed his nose on the sleeve of his shirt. “But I’ve been sober for two years now. You could have told me.”

God, it felt like I was being stabbed. Sliced open. He looked so vulnerable, and all I wanted to do was to protect him, which was ironic because I was the one who hurt him.

“I was terrified of what you would do once you found out. I had no one, Brogan. Tanner is all I had. I was petrified of losing him. Afraid of how your lifestyle would damage him. But never, not once, did I ever doubt that you would love him.” I placed my hand over his heart. “There is so much good in here, and I know that you will show him that side of you. You weren’t ready to give him that back then, but I think you’re ready now.”

He hissed in a breath and stared into my eyes. “You named him Tanner? You know that was my grandfather’s name?”

“Yes. I remembered. Your grandfather was a wonderful man and someone very special to you. I wanted him to have something of you, other than your DNA.”

Guilt spiked inside of me as more tears fell. “I am so sorry. I’m sure my words don’t mean much to you right now, but I’ll do whatever I can to make things right between us.”

The muscle pulsed in his jaw. “Do you mean that?”

“Of course, I do.” As long as it didn’t cost me custody of my son, I would do whatever it took.

“Then come back to me.”

What did he just say?

I blinked, convinced I heard him wrong. “Excuse me, say that again?”

“I’ve never stopped loving you.” He slid his hands up my arms and rested them on my shoulders. “You were always there in the back of my mind, no matter where I was or who I was with. It’s always been you.”

My body jerked back in shock, causing his hands to fall to my sides. “Brogan, what are you saying exactly?”

He leaned in, erasing the space between us. His breath hovered over my mouth. His lips inched closer to mine. “You have always been the one for me. No one else, and now that I know about Tanner, I can’t let you go.”

I didn’t want him to say what I think he was saying. I didn’t want to have to reject him, not after the moment we just shared.

There was a time where Brogan was everything to me. But my heart belonged to someone else now.

“What about Sienna?” I asked, holding my breath and praying like hell that this was all a mistake. That his words were coming out wrong. Because this could not have gotten any more complicated.

He looked up at the ceiling but didn’t back away. “I love her. I do. But she’s not you.”

He was crazy. He was just ready to kill me ten minutes ago, and now he was in love with me again? “Brogan, I’m not the same person I was back then. You don’t know me any more than I know you. Yes, we still share a connection, and yes, you will always hold a special place in my heart, but we aren’t those two crazy kids who fell in love years ago. Most of all, we’re both in love with other people.”

His mouth pulled tight. “Is this about the guy from the restaurant?”

“His name is Jack.”

He picked up my left hand and held it in the air. “There’s no ring on here. How serious can it be?”

I stared at him, seeing the determination in his eyes. I needed to clear things up really quick. I couldn’t let him get the wrong idea. “It’s serious.”

He cocked his head to the side and clenched his jaw. “He looked awfully cozy withmyson earlier. That’s going to be a big problem for me.”

Be careful, I reminded myself. I needed to choose my words carefully. I didn’t want to hurt him or cause him any more pain.

“This is going to be very confusing for Tanner. That’s all on me,” I said. “Jack had no idea about you. You can’t blame him for any of this. He’s not going to be a problem. I promise you that. Let’s focus on what’s best for our son and go from there.”

“I’m going to get to know my son. I will be a part of his life.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and settled his gaze back on me. “Your boyfriend is going to have to step aside because I’m taking back what should have been mine all along.”

Panic started to bubble up inside me. “I want you to be a part of Tanner’s life. But if you’re talking about me, we ended a long time ago.”

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