Page 98 of Hard To Leave

He grabbed my chin, causing me to stare into his eyes. “It’s because I love you both so much that I have to do this. I told Tanner, he could call me whenever he needed me. I’m not cutting you off; I just need some space to figure things out.”

His hand wrapped around the back of my head. My eyes closed, feeling relief from his touch. I felt his lips press against mine. I pushed up on my toes and circled my arms around his neck. I couldn’t get close enough. I wanted to anchor myself to him.

His mouth opened and I glided my tongue against his with urgency. My body curled into his chest as a wave of chills washed over me. Our kiss was slow and fast. Soft and rough.

This was the man that I loved. This is where I belonged. How was I supposed to let him go when this was the only place I wanted to be?

He released me, took a step back and ran his hands down his face. “I can’t do this.” His words crushed me. It felt like he just trampled over my heart.

He bit out a curse and looked to the floor. “I have to go.”

My eyes flew to his in panic. “No, you don’t.

He was leaving me. He was getting back on the plane and going back to his life in New York. He might be calling this a break, but his voice sounded final.

Every part of me ached, and I wanted to plead and beg him not to do this, but until he was ready to forgive me, we didn’t stand a chance.

“I’ll call you,” he promised, and it sounded so wrong. I didn’t want him to call me. I wanted him to stay and work things out. I wanted him to forgive me and move past this. It was clear that his mind was made up.

I wiped my nose with my sleeve. “Why does it feel like you’re not coming back?”

He cupped my cheek with his strong hand. “I’m always just a phone call away.”

That was the wrong thing to say. I made my intentions clear. I laid it all out on the line. If he couldn’t find it in his heart to forgive me, then there wasn’t a damn thing more I could do.

“When will I see you again?” I asked, trying to hide how destroyed I felt about how he was handling this.

I watched his neck constrict with emotion as he swallowed. “I’m not sure.”

I wiped my eyes and looked at him for what I hoped wasn’t the last time. “I don’t want to let you go.”

His hands fell to his sides without another word. I wanted to stay and fight but I couldn’t. He had to get back to his life in New York, and I had to go home to my son.

I picked up my purse and walked toward the door. I was going in the opposite direction of where I wanted to go. My hand paused on the door, and I turned my head to take one last look at the man who owned my heart. “You can tell yourself whatever bullshit you want. But we’re not over. Not even close.”

And with those parting words, I walked out the door and hoped that this wasn’t the end.

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