Page 35 of Whatever It Takes

Everything in Erica’s mind was simply black and white. You were either good or bad. Right or wrong. You were either her friend or her enemy. And based on her words, it was obvious how she felt about my ex.

“I asked Quinn to give me some space, but he won’t give me an inch,” I protested. “I feel like he’s bulldozing his way back into my life and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it.”

Mackenzie leaned back in her chair and watched me. “Listen.” She cleared her throat. “You’ve been through a lot. It’s understandable why you would be hesitant. What I want to know is how do you feel about Quinn?” She waved her hands around in a circle. “Forget about everything else. What’s in your heart?”

Tears started to prick my eyes. “I’ll always love Quinn, but I feel like if we do move forward, we would need boundaries.”

“Are you afraid he will hurt you again?”

“That’s part of it.” I swiped a tear from my eye, hating that I was getting caught up in the moment. I just wanted to curl up in a ball on my couch and sleep forever. Yet here I was exposing my soul to them. “I barely survived losing him the first time.”

“But you did,” she reminded me in a soothing, encouraging voice. “I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, but you need to live your life. Does that make sense?”

“What about Grant?”

Erica watched me. I sensed that she wanted to say something but was biting her tongue.

Mackenzie leveled me with an annoyed glare. “Grant is a piece of shit who doesn’t deserve you. He never did. You have every right to be angry with him. You have every right to hate him. He’s already stolen seven years of your life, don’t let him take another day.”

“I’m still married to him.”

“You have an appointment this week with an attorney, right?”

“Yes, but this could drag on forever.”

“And yet Quinn knows this and still wants to try with you anyway.” She cocked an eyebrow, knowing she had me at that moment.

I sat back in my chair and crossed my arms. “I didn’t realize that I had signed up for a therapy session today.”

She chuckled and leaned forward. “Your life was turned upside down because of someone else’s actions. Grant will be brought to justice for his crimes, eventually. Your marriage is over in every way that matters. It has been for a long time,” she reminded me. “You have someone that loves you in a way most of us will never know. Do what makes you happy.”

If only everything was as simple as she believed it was. Unfortunately, I was a mother first and my focus needed to be on my daughter. I stood up and started pacing the room. “You have no idea what a relationship with Quinn Walker could cost me. I’m not some young, single twenty-two-year-old girl anymore. I have a daughter that needs me.”

“Who says you have to choose?” Mackenzie asked, before chugging the rest of her mimosa. “And why do you view him as a threat?”

“Because he makes me feel weak.” I rubbed my forehead, feeling like my life was spinning out of control. “I hate that he knows me so well, that he can get under my skin.”

“I bet that’s not all he’s planning on getting under.” Erica giggled.

I narrowed my eyes and continued my rant. “He’s distracting and bossy. He pushes my buttons and makes me feel things I don’t want to feel.”

“Okay,” Mackenzie said, holding her hand out. “Let’s tackle one thing at a time. You’ve already established that you’re afraid he will hurt you again. I’m here to tell you that playing it safe is no way to live your life. It’s not going to fulfill you. You deserve the kind of passion where a guy will push you against the wall and kiss the hell out of you.”

Why did it feel like I was going to regret telling them that?

“I’ve seen you with Grant. You never had that with him. You’ve only ever had that with Quinn. Let that thought guide you. But don’t let one bad choice that he made all those years ago define who he is today. Everyone makes mistakes, but that doesn’t mean he has to pay for that mistake for the rest of his life. Now let me ask you something.”

“What?” I asked, picking up my drink.

“Do you have any regrets when it comes to Quinn?”

I didn’t even need to think about my answer. “I’ve never regretted anything about my relationship with Quinn. I’m just still a little bitter about how he ended things.”

She smiled smugly. “Well, then I guess you have your answer.”

Erica slammed her hands down on the table. “Damn you’re good.”

“What about the fact that he told me he was moving in? He never even asked.”

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