Page 38 of Whatever It Takes

I laidon the living room couch and looked around, hating that Grant was practically everywhere. It was impossible to ignore the fact that this was his house, and I wanted to erase every single trace of him that was left over. His face was in the family pictures on the wall. His golf clubs were in the garage. His leather recliner that I wanted to burn sat in the corner.

It pissed me off that the selfish bastard had the family that should have been mine.

Charlotte appeared at the end of the stairs and looked around at the scented candles that I had lit while she was getting Emery ready for bed. “She’s finally out.”

I rubbed my own bloodshot eyes, feeling physically worn out from our afternoon outing. We spent most of the day out in a farm field, picking our own pumpkins to decorate the house. That little girl was a ball of energy as we chased her through the corn maze, visited every goat and chicken at the petting zoo, and spent the better part of the afternoon jumping on and off the circular bales of hay. If Emery wanted it, she got it. She had a unicorn painted on her face, ate Shake Shack for dinner, and somehow managed to sucker me into overpaying for her sixty-dollar cowgirl costume for Halloween.

I didn’t know how Charlotte did it on her own. She had to be exhausted, but she couldn’t look any more beautiful to me. She wasn’t wearing anything special, just a pair of navy sleep shorts and a simple ivory top that clung to her waist, but it suited her.

A smile came to life on my face, noticing her hair hanging loose down along her shoulders. The naturally curly, wild untamed look was always my favorite.

I got off the couch and made my way over to her. I was feeling anxious, everything inside of me was overflowing with anticipation. I wanted to pick up where we left off last night in the bathroom, and I hoped to God that she wanted the same.

I wasted no time pulling her against my chest. “Does that mean I finally have you all to myself now?”

“Quinn.” Her voice was shaky as she peered up at me with those big, green emerald eyes that I wanted to get lost in. “What are you doing?”

I grinned down at her, my lips ached to kiss her again. “Exactly what you think I’m doing.”

The moment we had last night had been on my mind all day. I was ready to take it up a level, but I needed her to be comfortable with the idea of us. And if I was reading her right, she seemed a little on edge around me.

She lifted her chin to look at me. I could see the hesitation in her eyes. “I don’t want you to fight me on this, but we need to take things slow.”

My jaw clenched in frustration at the word “slow.” I managed to pull back and look at her. “I hate that you’re having doubts about us.”

Her hands moved up my arms and landed in my hair. “You’re taking this the wrong way.”

“So, explain it to me.”

She sighed as if she was frustrated, but her body still leaned into mine. Such a contradiction. “I lost myself in you once before. I don’t want to make the same mistake. If we are doing this, I want to do it right.”

I brought her hand up to my chest and placed it over my heart. “You never lost me, Charlotte, because I never let you go. You’re still in here.”

Moisture built up in her eyes. “Saying things like that only makes this harder for me. Don’t you understand that?”

I wrapped my hands along the back of her neck until our foreheads were touching. “I know you’re scared, but I refuse to deny what is happening between us. I’m not taking things slow, not when I can finally feel my heart beating again after seven years.”

The tears that she was trying to hold in began to flow freely down her cheeks. “Quinn.” She swallowed; her fingers trailing lightly across my chin. “I don’t know what to say.” She paused. “Of course, I feel this connection we have too, but I’m still scared.”

I pulled on her hand until we were falling back on the couch against the window. “Come here,” I commanded, sliding her up my chest so we were nose to nose. “Just relax.”

Her fingers drew small little circles along my chest. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve wished for moments just like this. Where I could just hold her and protect her. This content feeling had me wondering how I ever could have settled for anything less.

Her arms slipped around my waist; she gave me a quick smile. “We really need to get you a bed while you’re here.”

I pushed her hair off her shoulder. “Are you offering yours?”

Her eyes closed like she was conflicted. When she opened them I held her gaze, not wanting her to look away. “It’s not that I don’t want you there. I just need to be respectful of Emery and how she perceives things.”

Both of my hands slid up to her face and I pressed a kiss to her mouth. “We’ll figure it out, but, sweetheart, you need to understand something. Whatever walls you still have up guarding your heart, I want them gone. Or I will shatter every single one of them. Don’t be afraid to give into your feelings. Not tonight. Not ever. You’re always safe with me.”

I was probably pushing her too hard, but I didn’t care. The reality was that I finally had my hands on everything I ever wanted, and I wasn’t ever going to her let go again.

If I could go back in time and kick my own ass for breaking her heart, I would. Earning her trust back would take time. Until then, I’d just keep on trying and reminding her that I wasn’t giving up.

I brushed my mouth against hers, waiting for her to open up for me. She seemed timid at first, so I took my time going soft and slow until she was ready. I placed tender kisses on the corner of her mouth, down her delicate jaw and made my way to her neck where I gently nipped under her ear. I smiled remembering that was her favorite spot.

Her hands disappeared in my hair as she started to relax into my touch. My kisses were light and lazy and nothing like the powerful and passionate moment we shared last night. This was more tender and unhurried because I knew she was overthinking, and I wanted her comfortable and less nervous.

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