Page 51 of Whatever It Takes

She moved over to the coffee maker and filled up her to-go mug. Once she was done adding the cream and sugar, she popped the lid on and finally turned to face me. “Yesterday was an emotional day for both of us,” she reminded me. “I have a lot to do today. So to answer your question, we’re not going to talk about this right now.”

I raised my eyebrow and grabbed her arm as she tried to pass by me. “Don’t do this. Please.”

She jerked her body out of my hold. “Maybe Bree can meet you for lunch.”

That was a cheap shot, but I deserved it. “You have no reason to be jealous.”

“Why? Because the kiss meant nothing?”

“What?”

“Those were your words last night. Before you passed out. You said you were sorry and that the kiss with Bree meant nothing.”

I started to curse, but Emery came cruising into the kitchen, stuffing papers into her backpack. “I’m ready to go.”

Charlotte reached over and grabbed her purse off the counter. My gut churned replaying the foggy scene in my head. She really was walking away without letting me explain. Now I had to spend the rest of my day worrying about how bad I fucked up.

I clenched my fists at my sides. “Charlotte, can I speak with you for a moment, please?”

It was a struggle to even talk, but I did my best to keep the edge out of my voice. I was so angry. Not at her but at the situation. Plus, Emery was standing right there which meant I needed to keep things calm.

“Sorry,” she said, not sounding sorry one bit. “I’m running behind.” She threw her purse over her shoulder and guided Emery out of the kitchen.

“Bye, Quinn,” Emery said as her mother ushered her out the door so fast you would have thought the fire alarm was going off.

After taking a quick shower, I got dressed, grabbed a pack of muffins that Emery liked to pack in her lunch and stormed outside.

I walked out to my car, slammed the door, held my finger over the ignition button, and tried not to think about her giving me the cold shoulder. I pulled my phone out and shot a quick text to my brother, thanking him for dropping off my vehicle this morning. Instead of starting the car, I just sat there. My eyes slid shut and my forehead hit the steering wheel. It wasn’t even eight thirty in the morning yet and my day was already turning to shit.

Somehow, I managed to make it through most of my day and kept busy in the field doing my job. I made a point to stay away from my desk because I didn’t trust myself to not blow up Charlotte’s phone with messages. Although, I did receive one from her telling me she was taking Emery shopping for school clothes and they would eat at the mall. I texted her back and asked if I could join them for dinner. She never responded, so I figured I was on my own.

Now here I was sitting quietly in the far corner of Lolita’s, a little upscale Mexican restaurant on Thirteenth Street, with my brother.

“So, I’m a little curious,” he said, popping a tortilla chip in his mouth. “How did it go this morning?”

I swallowed a sip of my Diet Coke. My stomach twisted uncomfortably as I slid the bowl of guacamole toward him. “Not good, bro.”

“I’m not surprised.” Brody glanced over my shoulder as the waitress set our plates down in front of us. “Things were pretty weird last night.”

I leaned back in my chair as my hands fell in my lap. “Things have been weird since I’ve been back.” I swirled my straw around in my glass. “But even so, I’m thankful for this second chance because I regret leaving her all those years ago.”

He took a bite of his burrito and tilted his head sideways. “I know you do.” He set his food down. “But that’s in the past. You can’t go back and rewrite history. It’s obvious that you never stopped loving her. Which brings me to my next question. What the fuck were you doing with Bree last night?” he asked pointedly.

“I was so fucking angry,” I admitted. “I wanted to hurt her. I know it’s fucked up, but when she told me she wanted to slow things down, it set me off.” I shook my head and sighed. “When Bree called and asked if we could meet up, I figured why the fuck not. I wasn’t in a hurry to go back to Charlotte’s house just to hear all the reasons why she didn’t want to be with me.”

“So, you thought meeting your ex at her hotel was a good idea? The same ex that’s still crazy about you?” he asked, and I didn’t say a word because he had me there. It was a dumb, stupid decision. I should have known better. In my defense, it wasn’t like I planned on getting hammered, and I certainly didn’t expect her to try to kiss me.

“I guess the one thing we know for sure is that I’m pretty good at fucking up a good thing.”

“You need to stop this shit and figure out what it is you want. I know you want Charlotte back, but the fact is she is married with a kid, and things are complicated enough at the moment.” He paused and I wanted to punch that smug look off his face. Even though he wasn’t telling me something Charlotte didn’t keep reminding of. “I can only imagine how frustrating this entire situation is. I’m not saying all this to bring you down, but you can’t pretend that Grant doesn’t exist or just wish him away.”

“Are you fucking serious right now!” If anyone knew how to hit a nerve it was my brother. “Forget him? Did you forget why I’m even here? Why I’m staying at her house? Why I took a leave from my security job?”

When all this shit started brewing, I took a personal leave from the part-time job I had at the security firm so I could focus all my time on Charlotte and Emery. Something needed to give, and they were very accommodating.

“Then fight for her, you thickheaded bastard, but you’re going to have to learn to be patient.”

“What if that’s not enough?” I didn’t want to admit my biggest fear. That maybe things wouldn’t play out like I had planned. That maybe the gap between us was too wide to bridge.