Page 83 of Whatever It Takes

She looked shockedto the core and way beyond confused, while I stood there unable to form a single word.

“Is it true?” She stared at me, and I felt the weight of that question like there was a bag of cement resting on my chest. There was no good way to answer that without hurting her. There was no defending or justifying why I kept that information to myself. My brother shared a knowing look with me that saidI fucking told you so.

“Answer me!” she demanded, folding her arms across her chest. I advanced toward her, wanting to comfort her. She took a step back, obviously it was the last thing she wanted from me. She wanted answers not my compassion.

I dreaded this conversation. The last thing I wanted to do was cause her any more pain.

“Um…” Brody coughed into his hand. His cautious eyes met mine. “I’m going to help clean up.” I flashed my brother a pleading look that said,please don’t leave me. He gave me one back that said,you’re on your own, asshole.

He gave Charlotte a chin jerk as he rounded the corner, leaving me alone and feeling completely helpless.

“How much did you hear?”

She pinched her eyes shut. “Oh my God.” Tears streamed down her cheeks that were still flushed from our moment in the bathroom. “It’s true, isn’t it? How did I not know?”

“Sweetheart.” I softened my tone. I was trained to deal with situations like this. I had delivered and listened to much worse than this, but seeing the look of pain and betrayal on her face felt like a swift kick in the fucking stomach. “It was not your fault. You were drinking, you had no idea that he slipped you something.”

She gripped the strands of her long hair like she wanted to yank it from her scalp. She started pacing a small path along the narrow foyer. I looked to my right to make sure everyone was out of earshot.

“I remember being at the bar with him. I remember him flirting with me. I was so hurt and so confused thinking that you didn’t want me anymore. He was saying all the right things. I knew.” She shook her head. “Deep down I knew that he had feelings for me, but I just wanted one night to forget. To feel numb.”

The emotions and the guilt I felt in my throat as I listened to her run through the events of that night in her head were so strong, I practically choked on them.

“I remember we danced and we drank. I started feeling dizzy and had trouble walking. That’s when he offered to take me home. We kissed in the back of the cab. He carried me upstairs and laid me down in bed and that’s when my memory gets fuzzy. The last thing I remembered was his hands on me and that’s when I realized that I was in over my head. But I kept kissing him. I never told him no. I never told him to stop.”

“You were incoherent,” I growled. “He fucking knew exactly what he was doing.”

“When I woke up the next morning in his bed, I just assumed we had sex and that I blacked out.”

I grabbed her shaking hands and stood there in my parents’ hallway, hoping that they couldn’t hear what the fuck was going on. We had been gone long enough that they were probably wondering where we were.

“Charlotte.” I swallowed, brushing my thumb along her wrist. “He gave you a sleeping pill. You were passed out. You had no way of knowing.”

She blinked at me for a beat, and then two, before a frown took over her face. “How long have you known?”

I tore my gaze away from her, not wanting to have this conversation. My hesitation had her pulling her hand away and taking a step back.

I could feel my blood pressure rising. There wasn’t a chance in hell that she wasn’t going to get pissed at me. No matter how much I would try to reason with her, I knew my girl, and I could already see the fight brewing in her eyes.

A heavy exhale slowly left my lungs. “Since Brody’s bachelor party.”

“You’ve known for weeks?” The tone of her voice was mixed with shock and anger.

Her chest was rising and falling. I’ve seen Charlotte pissed, angry, and hurt. Yet, I wasn’t prepared to see her so furious. My training had me observing her and trying to prepare myself for whatever the hell happened next.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice was calm and controlled, giving nothing away. “Why am I just finding out about this now?”

I put my hands in my pockets and shifted on my feet. “Because I didn’t want you to know. I knew it would devastate you.”

Her mouth dropped open in disbelief. “Who the hell do you think you are keeping something like that from me?”

I tried to come up with a reason good enough. Struggled with how to explain myself. Somehow, I only made this situation worse and I hated myself for it. “Someone who loves you and wants to protect you.”

She tried to move around me, but I wasn’t having it. Before I could process what was happening, she shoved at my chest. She looked like she wanted to run away from me. And for the first time in as long as I could remember, I felt a sense of panic that I could actually lose her forever.

I grabbed her wrist, halting her movements. I looked down at the woman who I loved more than anything. Tears leaked from both corners of her eyes. I hated seeing her cry. And the worst part was that I wasn’t sure if she was crying because of me or because of him.

“Talk to me,” I pleaded.

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