Page 24 of Whatever You Need

“Ahh…” I expected him to look smug, but instead understanding filled his features. “That sucks, you don’t have any clue on how to contact her?”

I didn’t want to admit that I looked her up on the hotel website. I thought about calling her, but then what would I say?Hey, sorry to bother you at work, but would you want to meet up sometime?Pestering her at work just didn’t seem right. Besides, if she wanted to see me again, she would have at least left me her number, right?

I pulled on the back of my neck. “I’m not sure that would be a good idea. She is out of my league and I’m… you know.”

He sat forward and propped his elbows on his long legs. “You have boundaries and create rules before you even have a chance to get close to someone. It’s frustrating as hell watching you go through woman after woman, sabotaging your chance at any kind of meaningful relationship.”

I glared at him. “You act like I sleep with thousands of women.” While I do like to have my fun, that number isn’t nearly as high as he thinks it is.

“You avoid relationships like the plague, which is a pity because you are missing out on a hell of a lot of good things in life.”

“Are you forgetting that the last relationship I had left a big hole in my heart?”

He put his arm along the back of the couch like he didn’t have a care in the world. “No, I didn’t forget, but that organ inside your chest still works, right?”

I rolled my eyes. “Fuck off.”

“Stop being an idiot. Do you want to be alone and miserable for the rest of your life? Don’t you want more?”

My shoulders sagged. I wasn’t sure what I wanted. There was a time where I thought I would want a family like this someday, but that all changed. Over the years I’ve lived my life on my terms and it worked for me. Now, after one night with Amelia, I found myself wrestling with feelings I hadn’t thought about in years.

“I’m not looking for anything, Quinn. If it happens, it happens. I’m not afraid to put myself out there and try again. I’m just not interested in having my heart stomped on like before.”

He inched forward and suddenly this leather recliner grew uncomfortable. “I understand that better than anybody. We can’t go back and change the past, but it’s never too late to get your shit together. Look, if you’re still thinking about her, you obviously have some feelings that are worth exploring.”

He was right. I did like her, but Amelia West was out of my league. She would eventually marry a trust fund baby or some rich CEO that shared the same power and pedigree as her. Either way, she’d never end up with a practical guy like me.

“It doesn’t matter.” I took a sip of my beer that tasted piss warm. “It would never work out with her anyway. Like you said, I’ll be ready when the time is right.”

I needed to stop thinking about this insane connection I felt with her. Even if I wanted to see what was on the other side of that door that she had cracked open, I wasn’t sure I would be ready for what was on the other side.

So, why did the thought of never seeing her again suck so much? And why was I thinking more about our conversations than what happened between the sheets? I wasn’t normally this confused, which was why I needed to move on and leave what happened between us back in the hotel room.

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