Page 60 of Fumbled Love

He closed his eyes for a second. “It’s his?”

“Yes.” I didn’t know how else to respond. I was afraid anything I said would upset him.

“And you think he’s going to step up and be a dad? Do you honestly think he gives a shit about you?”

Shocked couldn’t even come close to describing how I felt. Logically, my brain understood why he was lashing out, but my heart was having a hard time accepting it. He thought he was being a good friend and looking out for me. Instead, his remarks were testing my patience and made me angry.

“Wow!” I blinked rapidly, trying to stop myself from saying something I wouldn’t be able to take back. “I didn’t realize you knew him well enough to make that assumption.”

His glare was hard. “I know enough about the kind of man he is.”

Talk about doubling down on an already offensive comment. Chad and I had never fought like this in all the years we’ve been friends. I expected him to struggle with this news, but being rude and lashing out was something I wouldn’t tolerate. If this was so upsetting, that was his problem, and he needed to find a way to deal with it.

“I don’t understand where this hostility is coming from?”

His gaze flicked from my face to my stomach. “How can you be sure that he isn’t fucking with you? I mean come on, Kinley, the guy is a pro athlete who has groupies that follow him from city to city. Guys like him sleep with anything that walks. Do you even know anything about him? What kind of life he lives? For all you know, you’re not the only one he knocked up.”

His sharp words sliced right through my heart, hitting their intended target. I looked for any resemblance of the kind, gentle man that I called my friend. All I saw was a man filled with hurt and anger.

“You obviously have your opinions about him. I can’t change that. If you want to believe in stereotypes and gossip you read online, then maybe you should keep your thoughts to yourself. I’ve made a decision to raise this child with him. Maybe this relationship will work, or maybe it won’t, but I’m going to try. Not because he’s the father of my child, but because I want to be with him.”

He looked like he wanted to argue but stopped himself when he spotted the lone tear slide down my cheek. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be a dick. I’m just looking out for you. “

“I know you are,” I said, deciding to cut him a little slack, even if he didn’t deserve it. “That’s why you’re one of my best friends. I don’t want this to come between us.”

“You don’t understand, Kinley. I always believed that in the end, it would be you and me.”

“You and me?” I repeated back to him, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.

“You are the only person I’ve ever thought about settling down with.” He paused and reached for my hand. “I’ve loved you as more than just a friend for years. I thought I had more time.”

“More time for what?” My brain started sifting through all the years we spent together, but nothing stood out. I knew there was a chance he felt this way because Maverick and Taylor both warned me.

“For your feelings to catch up to mine.”

Fuck! My eyes slid closed again. What the hell was I supposed to say to that?

When I opened my eyes, there was so much hope in his that it broke my heart. “Chad, I swear to you, I had no idea you felt this way.”

He settled his elbows on his knees to face me fully. “Would it have made a difference if you knew? Does it change how you feel about me now that you do?”

There was no way to answer that without damaging our friendship.

“Chad, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I’ve only seen you as a friend, and that’s all you’ll ever be to me.” I hated hurting him, but I couldn’t give him any false hope. God, I felt stupid for not seeing the signs. “I don’t want the same thing that you want.”

His face fell, and he buried his head in his hands. “You’re telling me that you feel nothing for me?” He lifted his head and leaned forward.

When I looked at my friend, I saw comfort, security, and a lot of good memories. But I didn’t see him as anything other than a friend I enjoyed spending time with. There was no spark or physical attraction on my end because those feelings were reserved for someone else.

“I’m telling you that you deserve someone who feels the same way you do, but I’m not that person, Chad. I’m sorry.”

He nodded, his lips forming into a flat line. “I see.”

I went to squeeze his hand again, but he flinched. “Are we okay?”

He tried to keep his face calm, but I sensed frustration raging inside. This baby was a huge inconvenience that he wasn’t expecting, and my new relationship was something he never saw coming.

“No, we’re not okay.” He shot up from the couch and threw the gift he gave me across the room. If I didn’t see the pinch of pain in his eyes, I would have picked up my glass of water and thrown it at his head for his behavior. “I’m too late, aren’t I?”

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